A Waterloo View

Hello Stalker!

2009-07-07T14:24:00.001+01:00

I really must start using this blog again!

Bit of a revamp coming soon methinks but in the meantime, I liked:

Going shopping, try this link.

2009-06-23T15:54:00.001+01:00

Amazon.co.uk Widgets

Sighs of relief

2008-12-08T08:20:00.002Z

After herculean feats by my semi-tame mechanic, the new gearbox & clutch was fitted late on Friday evening.

And it's working fine. Gone is the whine of an irritated bearing and the welcome sound of gently meshing gears accompanies my waftings around the City limits.

I really hope it behaves itself for a while now!

Not the clutch...

2008-12-04T09:58:00.004Z

So yesterday I braved the perils of public transport to head towards the office with hopes high of finding a fully serviceable car - which is of course, vital to both full & part-time jobs. Without it, I am literally dead in the water. No transport = negligible income.

Arrived after a bracing walk in crisp weather to be greeted by glum faces at the garage. They'd thought it was the clutch. I'd thought it was the clutch. It wasn't the clutch.

Gearbox

The words entered my head. Rattled around my skull, pausing only to stamp on a few passing brain cells with their hob-nailed boots before shooting cold tendrils of dread to the pit of my stomach.

The normally unbreakable Toyota has killed its gearbox. This is not good. For a very large value of Not Good.

As my mechanic mate put it "If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all!"

Cue some ringing around to find recon boxes. £350 - £690. Oh Bugger. I've searched down the back of the sofa but a couple of 2p coins and some discarded nuts aren't going to cut the mustard.

I've had good times & bad in that office but I don't think I've ever felt so utterly wretched & dejected as I did yesterday. Shivering. Penniless, car dead and with an electronic 'job from hell' on the workbench that won't behave. And did I mention how cold it is?

So cold that I'm considering offering a specialist welding service for metallic simians.

Hopefully the new box arrives on Friday.

Will it fit?

Will it arrive in time for me to get a weekend's work in?

Will it be painted green with pink spots?

You guess is as good as mine on any of these...

If I can get mobile again then I start to get things back in order. I'll have to do some silly hours but it can be done although I know Bridge worries about me. Fortunately she keeps an eye on my physical & mental wellbeing. Now that's what I call 24hr NHS Service!

But I'm not holding my breath until I can feel the mighty Avensis tugging at the leash ready to do some drunk scooping from the streets of the Metropolis.

So to day I'm working from home. I lugged two laptops home to work on, one needs a used HD fitting and the other one is running slow. Although that one might be easer to fix if they'd given me the logon password.

Working from home is good for several reasons.

I don't have the bus fare to get into the office.
I have a kettle.
I have central heating.

Ah well, keep lugging on. It's character building you know!

One down...

2008-12-01T13:48:00.002Z

It was way back in May 21st 2007 when we put B's flat on the market, soon to be snapped up by a buyer.

We thought it'd all be boxed off before November 07 but delays in the leasehold extension saw our buyer pulling out in mid 2008...

Not good. Not good at all.

But hurrah, we now have a tenant.

I presume that makes me the Rigsby-esque Landlord... "More Tea Miss Jones?"

Hopefully this marks a turning point - I'm still freezing my whotsits off in this office though. (And waiting for news on the car...)

Did I run over a Gypsy?

2008-11-28T12:12:00.004Z

Cars & luck are not going well at the moment...

Firstly Bridge's clutch (oooh-err!) lets go at Queens Drive/Rocket flyover.

Eventually gets help to push it out of the way of rush-hour traffic but not before being laughed at & refused help by at least one set of shop workers. Grrr... may they suffer the infestation of a thousand ants in their pants... (If I knew for sure which shop it was I would be deposting a piece of my mind...)

Anyway, a couple of builders helped push it to the roadside. RAC Roadside guy came out but only had Roadside cover on that car (it was on the list of things I wanted to do but the current state of the coffers kept it from being done. Ouch.)

Fortunately I know someone with a recovery truck. Still could've done without that & the ensuing clutch bill though. Hey ho. That's what happens when you run older cars.

But at least I manage to get myself a nice Toyota Avensis with the proceeds of a well-timed job. In very nice condition & if I get it plated by the Council, then I can save £100/week in my other occupation as part-time personal transport executive...

Get's it through the taxi MOT on 2nd attempt. Nothing serious, just needed a headlight realignment and then end up with plates that make Bridge shout "MUGSHOT!"

So on the car they go.

A day spent sorting out radio installation, insurance etc & off we go.

And then last night...

I knew the clutch had a bit of a whine. It was booked in for Monday...

It decided otherwise.

Whine.

Crunch.

Grate.

Shriek.

THUD.

The thud came when the transmission locked solid and the car skidded to a halt, straddled across a junction. Fortunately a quiet one. (Cambrdge Rd/Esplanade)

"Oh dear me" I said calmly "Dash it all, it appears to have gone for a burton".

The car was now locked in gear. Couldn't move the gearstick due to the loading on the box (I presume) and pressing the clutch had no effect. Therefore you couldn't even push the car. FUBAR. In a big way.

Let it cool for a few minutes. Followed by the application of lots of power, rapid dumping of the clutch and a nasty metallic sound, got the car to move off the junction & crawl home on tickover. Fortunately only about ½ mile. Burning clutch plates have such a distinctve smell...

And no, I didn't have any recovery cover on it. I was waiting for some quotes to come through (you can't just get taxi breakdown cover that easily online) so another call for private recovery and off it's just gone.

Argh!!! And breathe... Where's ERNIE when you need him?

So working from hoime this morning. At least I had some stuff here to be getting on with.

The duncit.co.uk website, sorting out Google Checkout & bumf for that.

The lancaster website. Some image juggling.

A laptop with 2000+ infections on. Cleaned & now refusing to accept SP2. Re-Register a few DLLs and it's away. Just got to fix the damage left by the infections & that can go back. Owner doesn't undersand how it happened as it had antivirus on. Somehow I don't think a 2004 copy of Panda is gonna cut the mustard! The number of daft toolbar downloads is another clue...

Another laptop with virus & assorted nasties on. It has current AV. One that's won awards looking at the packaging. However all it does is try & block file access rather than deleting or healing the infection. A lot of use! It's scanning now. About 100 killed so far & looking healthier.

I've also cleaned the heating filter for B's flat as we're over there later to do a few jobs. Hopefully better news on that front shortly to come.

I think I might just fit a broom up my posterior & sweep the floor as I go...

Mrs Seabank Calling.

2008-11-07T21:03:00.002Z

After reading Dunc's last blog, I felt compelled to respond and he very kindly let me encroach on his blog.

I'm sat in the living room with a big mug of tea (no surprise there, then!!). Well, I need tea to lubricate the brain matter!

My technical ability is very limited, so no pictures or anything too fancy in this posting.

Yes, it has been to quote Dunc an"interesting" year but it has just proven to me, that we are meant to be. He is my strength and my soul mate.

On a lighter note, for the record -

- Dunc is a good cook!!

- Mysteriously Dunc appears to know the storyline for Coronation St and EastEnders! I catch him sometimes glancing over his shoulder "pretending" not to be watching.

- I'm considering searching the Internet for "tea drinkers anonymous". I think I may have a tea problem as in work they call me asbestos gob (charming!!) and they are considering setting up a special intravenous (tea) drip. I think it is an excellent idea.

- I've sewn on one button over the last year and there are no darning needles in this flat.

- "a smile and a cuppa works every time" - don't forget the hug, Dunc.

- That I've got a very special, kind and thoughtful man.

I will close now, as I notice my mug appears to be empty. I may post again if the urge comes over me!!

How Long?

2008-11-05T15:51:00.003Z

Ok, ok... it's been a while since I updated anything but hey, I've been busy!

But who'd have thought it's been a year since that day?

In our first year of marriage, we've weathered burglary, family medical scares (now largely sorted I'm glad to say), business downturns (back on the up, it's hard but we're slogging away, bloodied but unbeaten), flat sale falling through, the credit crunch & the housing crisis. An interesting year to say the least!

Not only that but poor ol' Bridge has had to suffer my jokes & my cooking too!

But we're still here. Still Laughing. Very much in love and business is starting to pick up a little. I'm working about 80 hours a week between three or four different jobs but at least it means Bridge can watch Corrie without me moaning...

...and what has this year of wedded bliss taught me?

That Bridget is single-handedly responsible for the tea export from a small province in China.

That Coronation Street & Eastenders are sacrosanct viewing times & must not disturbed.

...but that Bridget mysteriously feels the need for a bracing yomp when Top Gear comes on.

That most blokes navigate using pubs as waypoints but Bridget's internal GPS uses tea shops!

That a request for button sewing or sock darning services will be met with howls of derision. I really should have included this in a pre-nup!

That I married Miss Right - first name 'Always'!!

But more seriously it's shown me...

That the support of friends & family has helped us through tough times. And no matter what gets thrown at us, we can take it. Together.

...and that no matter now gritty the day, a smile & a cuppa works every time.

Would I change a thing? Well, there is that get-out clause in the vows should Keira Knightly come knocking but no. Not a thing (well except for the habit of midnight duvet-stealing).

I said it so well a year ago.

The first track was called "My Woman" from a local artist, Phil Jones - excellent, do go & support him.

As the lyrics put it...

My Woman

My Lover

My Friend

...and now My Wife.

How Incredible is that?

ProudBlog

2008-08-20T19:33:00.004+01:00

So today Mrs Seabank sat her promotion board...

... and is now the equivalent of a Sister!

Proud & chuffed I am. Well deserved after a lot of hard work & tea drinking.

I do wonder when the proper uniform arrives though

(Have you ever tried doing a Google search for Nurse's uniform? This wasn't the first result that came up - but probably the only one I can post!)

Flat for sale

2008-08-19T16:14:00.003+01:00

Want to buy a flat?

How about one of the nicer, leafy suburbs of Liverpool? Home of the Beatles, close to Penny Lane & only a stone's throw from the bustling life of the metropolis whilst nestling in quiet tranquillity.

Then just click here & with no chain, you could be moving in as soon as the ink's dry on the dotted line!

Macro Comp

2008-08-08T09:11:00.004+01:00

As requested by Andy & Derek...

This is the un-cropped original, not much in the way of background as I knew I was going to be doing a tight crop & was exposing for the flame.

One of the other possibilities which I decided against.

I thought it needed the flame to give it some context.

How Cold?

2008-08-05T18:27:00.003+01:00

Hands up everyone that thinks Bridge only drinks tea all day?

Well, here she is hard at work bossing the job!

Thankfully she only threatened one of my customers with being Sectioned... (personally, I think they should all be Sectioned, but only after they've paid if you don't mind!)

That was a mere -23°C. What do you reckon the chances of getting her into a freeze drier at -55°C?

Pretty unlikely I reckon - unless they let her take a kettle in...

Geek & Proud

2008-07-13T14:39:00.003+01:00

No, I'm not the Uber-Geek who was sad enough to be sat outside Carphone Warehouse at 6:30 in the morning waiting for an iPhone!

What do I want with iAnything? I work in Support, Windows not working is what pays my bills...

But I was out in the car with Little-Miss-Roadrage before and spotted something I saw a couple of days ago & went to investigate. There were lots of mutterings from the passenger seat amongst which I could just about make out "...blah... blah... geek... twitter... sad... where's my cuppa tea... geek..."

But Yes! I was right...

Parked up close to The Lathom, an iconic point in the Beatles Story, was a gleaming, black Opel Astra.

Very nicely engineered too. The housing on top hides a multi-headed camera, linked to GPS and forms the data collection element of Google Streetview.

It's a far cry from some experimental work MrCowblog & I did (which coincidentally started & finished in a convenient pub carpark) encoding GPS info on the teletext potion of a videosignal. That was cutting edge (& done on a shoestring) at the time but the level of integration of imagery within Google's Streetview & Microsoft's Virtual Earth Bird's Eye view is stunning. Huge amounts of data, geo-referenced & rectified to that extent is a seriously non-trivial task.

But that's it... the black cars have now hit Liverpool...

All Hail Our Google Overlords!

Imagine

2008-07-07T22:35:00.002+01:00

Bridge's fave shot from our stop at the 'Murial'...

Urbs - Urbis

2008-07-06T10:35:00.003+01:00

So the Urban competition at Cowblog is open...

I was the last to submit this month - sorry! I was hoping for a good shot of the Liverpool Mural Project but after a lot of head scratching, decided one of my others was more suited. We'll see...

In the meantime, here are some of the also-rans...

Cook with Mark

2008-06-18T08:22:00.002+01:00

Mark is of course an accomplished master of the kitchen and BBQ (leaving aside the disfiguring incident with the chicken curry sauce that led him to be hidden away like the Elephant Man...)

...but our spies have just sneaked a unique behind-the-scenes look at the preparations for Sunday roast.

Nipples!

2008-06-16T19:21:00.002+01:00

Yes folks, this is the day when the blog suddenly gets a lot more hits...

Are we talking these?

No we're not... but we are talking about male nipples.

Apparently, The good Nurse Bridget heard a radio report that - irrespective of build & size - all blokes' nipples are 11" apart.

So far it would appear to be true - but further research is demanded by Bridge in the interests of anatomical research!

(Quite what this has to do with mental health nursing I'm not sure, it may simply have been an excuse for Bridge to fondle my chest)

Bridge would like feedback as to the veracity of this claim but cannot be held responsible for the ensuing disappointment when your other half approaches you with a tape measure...

Dyserth Falls

2008-06-10T16:47:00.002+01:00

A couple more from our trip to Dyserth Falls.

A very well done to Andy & Mark for joint 1st at Cowblog's May competition.

But I've already got several ideas for urban...

Techno-geekery

2008-06-10T09:55:00.004+01:00

Mark's twitterings about the new iPhone made me mull over the pace of change & ever increasing integration of technology.

I've often talked about what I call the 'Star Trek effect'. The usually unreasonable expectations of the public who see something on Star Trek & think that it can be done that way right now.

It's no secret that OS designers see the Star Trek computer interface as the holy grail but I was struck by how close we're getting in a random thought the other day.

Not that long ago, I used to carry a big wallet of diagnostic CDs on service calls. From virus checkers to memory diagnostics to registry editors and hard-to-get device drivers, they were all in my CD case.

But you'd never see anyone on Startrek doing that - Star Trek engineering uses plug-in isolinear chips or rods.

Most of my calls now no longer need that mass of CDs but a simple, cheap 4GB USB stick - one of these...
maybe not that different after all...

Wassup?

2008-06-10T09:42:00.002+01:00

Been working on updates to www.sefton-computer-repairs.co.uk as part of the drive to bring in more work & introduce some more services.

Also just finished findmetherighthorse in conjunction with Matt. Very pleased with it & the associated adwords campaign. Bringing plenty of quality traffic in for such a new site.

Today is more updates to the SCR site & then some way overdue accounts paperwork. As the esteemed Mr Blackadder once said... "Honestly, Baldrick, sometimes I feel like a pelican. No matter where I turn, I've still got an enormous bill in front of me"

Twittering on

2008-06-10T09:18:00.002+01:00

I do tend to lead a bit of an online life so in response to an entry on MrC's site, I've set up a Twitter account. All good fun & a splendid work avoidance technique...

On a day trip...

2008-06-02T10:09:00.004+01:00

Not to Bangor but to Dyserth in North Wales which apart from the anti-car efforts of the local traffic taliban is a hidden gem of a day out.

I recommend paying the 30p entrance fee & going for a walk round the waterfalls & woods. There is of course a cafe...

No more Nookie...

2008-06-02T09:57:00.002+01:00

Fortunately my ears were deceiving me and it was mere slur on my culinary abilities.

Mark (& fellow survivors of the great Gnocchi disaster of '96) will be amused that my attempts at a different gnocchi recipe were met with disapproval...

(Picture posed by stunt Gnocchi)

No more Gnocchi it is then...

BurntBlog & Update

2008-06-02T09:19:00.005+01:00

Ah yes, the outpouring of sympathy was of course deafening...

Still, the burns have faded now with just a slight discolouration to show social services to prove I'm a battered husband. Ouch. Not a mistake I want to make again...

Steve's comment that my mistake was in making the chain too long so that Bridget could get out of the kitchen has been passed on but I think you're ok Mate, she hasn't found the key to the knife drawer yet but I'd keep a good lookout if I were you!

But what else have we been up to?

The lease for the sale of Bridge's flat has been signed. And again disappeared into the darker corners of the legal system. All a bit of a nightmare, not helped by poor trading conditions (as they say in 'The City' to mask the sound of brokers jumping from the windows) which is making things a bit tight but hey ho, it's all character building! Plenty of plans to move things forward but they need money to implement... that'll be Catch 22 then :)

Recent months saw a trip down Peterborough way for a great couple of days with Av, John & Sam. Very relaxing, just what the Doctor ordered - and Bridge got to wear her new sparkly wellies... (£8 from Matalan, that girl knows how to shop!)

A good walk through the forest at Rockingham once we got Bridge away from the cafe tea urn...

LobsterBlog

2008-05-12T15:08:00.002+01:00

I've heard that lobsters let out a whistle when they're dropped into boiling water in the kitchen of your favourite restaurant.

I'm not surprised... I feel a remarkable affinity for my nippy-clawed, crustacean brethren.

[Dunc's Thought For The Day #1] Take more care when lifting steamer full of veg & boiling water just in case it catches on the edge of the fridge and tips.

[Dunc's Thought For The Day #2] When said steamer tips a small - yet statistically significant - amount of near-boiling water down your body. Do not be surprised at one's reaction to hurl the (thankfully plastic) steamer across the kitchen.

[Dunc's Thought For The Day #3] It's quite amazing just how far broccolli florets can travel when flung in pain...

...and yes, it does rather hurt.

Still, if a social worker sees my burn marks, I may yet be able to find a place in a hostel for battered husbands...

The also-rans...

2008-05-07T14:21:00.003+01:00

A well deserved win for MrC in this month's competition, even if he did take it whilst lying drunk on the concourse at St Pancras... A great photo though, one of the best of the competition so far I think. Git.

Anyway, here's a few that I was considering but that didn't make it...

The bascule bridge again - just been closed due to corrosion, no shit Sherlock!

I like this one, will probably go back & get it face on sometime. I do wonder if the original workman got a kicking from the foreman though...

BridgePix

2008-05-06T22:57:00.003+01:00

Another good Cowblog competition this month. I'll put some of my also rans on the blog tomorrow but here's some of Bridget's taken when we went looking for inspiration along the Dock Road - We stopped at 3 or 4 locations and each went off, snapping away furtively at our own compositions - competitive or what!?

Typically, we got back, I looked at Bridge's & thought "How did I miss that shot?" Perhaps I'll have to sabotage her camera after all!

Oh yes, and when I checked, last month's photos were taken at 0.3MP due to memory constraints. Now with a 512MB SD card, the only thing holding her back is battery life.

...And the fact that she can only shoot for 15 minutes before demanding a cup of tea.

To me this is so reminiscent of 1970's strike photos

Health & Safety? What Health & Safety....

I really like this one...

BridgeyBlog

2008-04-08T11:12:00.004+01:00

Thanks for the comments folks! As a matter of interest, I'll put a pic up here in Blogger's 'Large' format in case it's the blogspot software that's being a bit unfriendly. Although I suspect that the resolution may be turned down a bit on Bridge's camera as it's got no SD card in it & not much internal memory otherwise. I'll have to have a look round the workshop for a spare SD. Had some in the van but Billy Burglar got there first!

For those of you that remember Laurence from the wedding - this is his new sprog... Emma.

Bloody Hell - I'm an Uncle!

CowBlog Photos

2008-04-07T21:10:00.004+01:00

What a great set of entries in this month's competition - a very, very close thing indeed and every one of them worthy of hanging on a wall I think.

A difficult month with weather but managed to get a shot from by King's Dock that I was fairly pleased with.

These were some of the others that just didn't cut the mustard. The light trails needed a bit more light in the sky I reckon.

Even got abused by white-van-man this month! Setting up a tripod with Bridge on Hawthorne Rd in Litherland for a cry of "Saddos!" to be heard from a battered transit!

ShutterBridge

2008-04-07T21:02:00.003+01:00

In tandem with my snapping away for the cowblog photo competition, Bridge has also been clicking away and is convinced that her pics should see a wider audience. Personally I think her camera might have to meet with a nasty accident as her composition is often (ok, usually) better than mine.

So here they are - You are instructed to leave your comments!

BigDayBlog

2007-12-03T20:19:00.000Z

Ok, so I had the lurgy from Hell, lasted a good 3 weeks & meant I couldn't drink (much) on my Wedding Day but wow... what a day! And made very special by the actions of so many family & friends in helping out & just being there.

The day started by finishing off the packing for the honeymoon, shopping for stuff Miss Bridget had forgotten and clearing the shelves of Boots of all their cold remedies. And no, they didn't work against this particularly virulent strain of man-flu.

I was glad to see that Bridge has mastered the art of traveling light, out of her 20kg baggage allowance, 0.4kg was left unused...

I felt quite calm throughout the day even when the Best Man rang to make sure I'd not done a runner. So off to the hotel we went.

As a pair of suave, debonair, rakishly handsome James Bond look-alikes, it would be fair to say that we both scrubbed up well...

The time just flew and in no time at all, the registrar was calling everyone to their places.

...and then called me up to stand at the front. All of a sudden it was real. And everyone was looking at me - although that soon changed once the gorgeous bride arrived.

This was it, the culmination of months of planning (and just a little stress) since I'd popped the question only 8 months previously on the beautiful shores of Loch Garten.

Nerves? No, I felt strangely calm (a feeling mirrored, it turned out, by Bridget who felt calm & serene).

Then the music started. Gulp.

Then Mark gave me a running commentary on the arrivals. The two bridesmaids & pageboy looked fantastic, they did a great job throughout - and were delighted when they found the complimentary bowl of sweeties in the loos!!

Then Mark muttered "You might want to take a look now..." So I glanced over my shoulder.

Wow.

Stunning.

The Bride looked a Million Dollars of course and scrubbed up even better than the Bond wannabees.

Fantastic floral decorations & bouquets provided by the best little flower shop in the Northwest - Thanks Carol! (Not to mention Al for his delivery services)

Great & touching speeches were provided by Peter, Matt & Mark - thanks guys!

The 3 Wise Monkeys. Matt the Master MC, Guess Who and Mark, the World's tallest Best Man

The rest of the evening passed in a blur as so, so many people crowded around smiling, laughing & congratulating. The evening even saw that 'Once in a Preston Guild' event - Bridge & I dancing... but her feet soon recovered.

The first track was called "My Woman" from a local artist, Phil Jones - excellent, do go & support him.

As the lyrics put it...

My Woman

My Lover

My Friend

...and now My Wife.

How Incredible is that?

In the Sun...

2007-11-15T11:34:00.000Z

Yup, we´re still here and I hear reports of frosty mornings at home.

Well let me tell you, the local beer is nice & cold!

Now pretty much recovered as of last thursday/friday so a bit of a pain but at least back to ´normal´ now.

Managed to go swimming in the sea the other day but it quickly reminds you that it is in fact the Atlantic and is cold... very cold!

Surprised that Mark´s not got some photos up on his blog yet - claiming overwork no doubt!

See you all soon, wrap up well now!

Coughing in the sunshine....

2007-11-08T12:38:00.000Z

Well, we´re here!

Here happens to be in the reception of Las Colinas ApartHotel where a rather wheezy PC has net access for €1/20mins - not too bad except it took me 5 of those to work out how to get the @ sign working.

The apartments are great, my gorgeous wife is fantastic and I´m slowly recovering from the worst illness to hit civilisation since Mrs Miggins overdid the Tabasco sauce in the great pie shop incident.

But hopefully only another day or so will do it & then we can explore a bit more rather than being limited to coughing & spluttering on random poolside locations.

It´s good though. And Bridge has been an absolute star - even if she´s more concerned about her legs´ refusal to tan...

Catch you all soon, great to see you all on the 3rd & hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.

Hasta Leugo - Dunc & allegedley spanish speaking Wife! (Un poco!)

McBlog II

2007-10-13T14:33:00.000+01:00

The last installment of the McBlog saw us leaving the shores of Loch Levan & heading northwards...

Blurb in a day or two but here's some happy snaps in the meantime.

WorkBlog

2007-10-13T14:10:00.000+01:00

Nice piece of kit came in from overseas this week.

But before I could play with it, needed to overhaul the pure air supply used for cooling. I'd already got the spare filter packs, molecular sieves to remove contamination, silica gel to remove moisture & Soda Lime to scrub the CO2.

Great, except one of the existing filter packs had broken (might explain some of the cooling problems I'd seen on my own kit) so I now have a nice pile of soda lime sat on the workshop floor.

And from this:
We got this:

...and what does this tell me?

That it's going to be a busy week that's what! ...but after a spell in intensive care, I expect the patient to pull through.

How long?

2007-09-28T13:46:00.000+01:00

I can't believe the last post was on the 30th July, oops.

And I've got paperwork to do so rushing off now but thought I'd just post something up that I found online.

It's the great Phil Jones, we've seen him at The Marine in Waterloo quite a few times. He's quite simply one of the best live acts I've seen for many a year. The above doesn't do him justice but I like the track so there.

Try this one for him performing at the Carling Academy:

...and if you're coming to THE Wedding, you might just hear another of his tracks.

On the beach...

2007-07-30T15:44:00.000+01:00

From last night, just because I like them...

Oh My Head...

2007-07-30T15:25:00.000+01:00

Who'd have believed it, a visit from the mythical CommenTator himself on a flying visit up from the Isle Of Wight before going off to judge some more horses.

As usual, his companion is too good for him.

A blow-out meal at Edwards (THE best Chinese in Merseyside in our opinion) and a bottle of Chateau NdP was followed by a walk home. At which point I was lead astray and Matt opened his bottle of Scotch...

After 5 mugs of coffee the next morning I was able to start focussing again & answer to my own name...

InjuryBlog

2007-07-30T14:45:00.000+01:00

Not being one to let the allegedly accident-prone CowBlog get away with using his blog to gather sympathy after being bitten by a poor defenceless insect, let this serve as a warning...

A warning indeed, but of what?

Could it be:

a) Standing too close to Bridge when she's got a bread knife in her hand?

b) Strimming without face protection?

c) The dangers of eating too many pies?

It could well be 2 out of 3 actually...

It bloody well stung but could've been quite nasty - fortunately I had sympathetic nursing assistance close to hand!

Since the gardner is currently nowhere to be seen, 'we' decided that the back garden needed some cutting back before the place is valued & put on the market (next week hopefully) so Bridge fluttered her eyelashes & chatted up Archie and they very kindly dropped a strimmer in on Saturday morning. Nothing happened on Saturday due to hangover but on Sunday...

This...

Became this...

Thanks in no small part to a bit of help from...

As the estate agents are coming in the near future, it's all hands to the pumps to get things tidy & clean. I have for example, in a demonstration of manly DIY skills, just built the shoe rack that's been waiting for about 2 years...

I probably shouldn't exert myself so I'm looking for another 2-year breathing space before any more DIY!

Chug-a-chugga-chugga

2007-07-26T19:41:00.000+01:00

So there we have it, the replacement for the Volvo. A drop of a mere 180hp! It's slow, rattly & as I've just found out, has an unknown water leak which comes through the roof lining but it goes ok (just not quickly) and most importantly, the fuel gauge moves a lot slower than on the Volvo!

Metallic green on a 'T' with the normally aspirated 1.8D lump. But it does have electric windows. Buggerall else mind you!

...and now it's stopped raining, I'm off outside to take the roofrack off, don't need that and it'll be knocking a few mpg off so that can go off to ebay.

Wasting away....

2007-07-23T11:44:00.000+01:00

A distinct Well Done to CowBlog for getting back to his pre-smokefree fighting weight! If you need to know the points values for any form of alcohol, he's the man to ask!!

I have just worked out however that I'm at my lowest weight since meeting Bridge (must be stress related!) with a total loss of 1st 1lb so I may just be able to fit into my suit for November without looking like a pot-bellied penguin...

Currently 'working from home' & waiting for a call to go pick up the new transport. Found a tidy enough little Escort van on saturday after some trogging around so assuming it passes a safety check today I should be mobile again later today.

As an ex-plasterer's van, it may take a little cleaning however!!

Bridge is now almost moved in, leaving some stuff at hers just in case it needs to go back on the market (fingers crossed eh?) but we got through a lot of stuff at the weekend. Lots of old paperwork shredded & 4 bin bags of old clothes that had followed me in boxes from Hartdale to go to charity. Some of it was kept but the chance of me fitting back into some of it was remote to say the least.

...and some of it - for some unknown reason - attracted howls of laughter & a firm thumbsdown from the fashion police.

It's been how long?

2007-07-20T12:02:00.000+01:00

Oops... can't believe it's been so long since my last mini-rant. So what's been going on then?

Man-Food

The Toronto Missionary managed to sneak past immigration and attend a rapidly convened get-together at CowBlog's Lakeland hideout.

It's official. I'm jealous... what incredible views & walks on your doorstep.

...and every credit to Mark for his culinary contribution of beer, pizza, garlic bread, beer, pizza, garlic bread, nibbles & beer. Well done!

Although in spite of that slight transgresson, we both continue to lose weight. Slowly. Dammned slowly. Wonder where I can get a pet tapeworm?

Brumbrum a go-go.

Well,it's gone. After some frantic searching for the logbook (and subsequently ordering a duplicate from DVLA), the Volvo went up for sale.

A lovely car. Electric everything, climate control and the ability to make the scenery shift past very quickly indeed. But it had to go. The money's needed elsewhere & it came with its own petrol tanker following you around.

It went to a nice guy from North Wales so hopefully he'll enjoy it.

But that leaves me transport-less. Yikes. Mind you, it only took an hour to get from Bridge's this morning back to Waterloo via one bus & one train. Quite smooth, we're quite fortunate in having regular public transport around here. Better than the 'one-bus-every-other-thursday' in Lathom. Make PT clean, cheap & regular and people will use it - pity most politicians prefer stick to carrot.

So now looking round for a small, (probably battered), diesel van or similar to do me for a few months while I get on an even keel. Popped over to Warrington to have a look at one last night but although described as 'average', the seller omitted to mention the accident damaged wing & door, screwdrivered locks, ash encrusted interior and the wire holding the exhaust on. Thanks but no thanks!

Not much in the autotrader this week so I think a few hours trogging round Liverpool will be called for tomorrow.

A moving experience

Well, Bridge's flat now has an offer on it (hurrah!!) - so we've decided it's about time she moved into Waterloo. So that's another job for this weekend, along with informing Counciltax, BT, banks etc etc... Oh lovely paperwork.

I also need to setup a wireless router here for her to share the broadband, no problem. Got the router. What I haven'tgot is a USB wireless stick, which is 16 miles away in the office. And oh yes, I have no transport.Never mind, so long as I put Big Brother on the TV she won't notice...

(I'm still working on a gadget to fault the TV everytime Coronation St or Deadenders comes on though).

So as of this weekend, don't try & get Bridge on her AOL email or home phone. Hopefully everyone has been told of the new address, phone & email by now but if not, give one of our mobiles a call.

And now...

I'm working from home today. So I have a choice of:

Go & get some food shopped. This is quite urgent as I'm out of normal coffee, got some pods for the Tassimo though so should be able to last the hour...
Write a business plan
Make some changes to a client's web page
Shred some papers & do some filing
Make space in the wardrobe for MissB's extensive collection of designer frocks(!)
Go to the pub

6 will just get me into trouble so 5 sounds good except I'll spend the first ten minutes wondering how she's already smuggled so much stuff in there. Resistance is futile...

Tough on crime?

2007-05-31T13:14:00.000+01:00

From the news today...

Our wonderful Guvermint has decided "Shoplifters facing on-the-spot fines could have the penalties written off if they promise to behave."

Promise to behave? Well that's really going to cut crime isn't it...

Ahh, yes. That would seem to be the point. Years ago, shoplifting meant an appearance in Court and a criminal record. Now it means a promise not to do it again or you might get a toothless ASBO.

Hey Presto, no conviction entered in the Court records so the politicians can claim that crime is falling.

Let's see.

Putting wrong rubbish in your wheelie bin £100 fine
Putting wheelie bin out on wrong day £100 fine
Using a public bin for your own rubbish £100 fine
Speeding by a small amount £60 fine and possible ban under totting up
Parking misdemeanor £60 fine

Shoplifting - Simply promise not to get caught again for at least 3 months.....

Is it me?

Or is my opinion just skewed by the fact that I'm shortly moving from a workshop to retail premises?

I bet the Elf & Safety lobby won't agree to me putting a set of stocks outside, perhaps this would be more appropriate - it worked to discourage highwaymen after all...

Alternatively, I could nip round to Tescos, grab myself a trolleyload of Malts and I'll happily promise to behave myself for 3 months!

All Rhodes lead to sunshine...

2007-05-30T13:18:00.000+01:00

While Mr & Mrs CowBlog have nipped off to sunnier climes, we're left in the rain but we're not jealous at all are we..? Ok then, perhaps just a little bit...

But I do hope Mark's been practising his essential skills for a Mediterranean beach holiday...

No, you're right - it's not politically correct. But then I haven't done a risk assessment either. Tough.

How Long?

2007-05-24T20:14:00.000+01:00

Oops, can't believe it's been so long since my last blog entry. Ok, I'm a bad boy.

So more updates coming up as soon as I've built the PC that's currently in bits on the bench but just to be going on with it seems that the music in the last entry was much appreciated by Andy, The Toronto Missionary.

So in honour of his birthday... here's a sample of the sort of music they get over in Canada from one of their home-grown bands...

They're a big hit over there. Yes. Really!

I actually quite like that in a strange sort of way that probably means I need to increase the medication...

The Arrogant Worms are often mistakenly credited with writing a piece that's actually by Dana Lyons. I reproduce it here as it too is about a cow.

A Revolutionary Cow.

...and one of the funniest things I've ever heard. (Although it may help if you're drunk at the time).

There's an alternative plasticine stop-go animation here too and a much better resolution version of the Bjørn-Magne Stuestøl movie here.

Music

2007-04-12T18:12:00.000+01:00

Plans to go wandering around the folk festivals this year have been curtailed somewhat - something about a certain function coming up later on in the year :)

But I saw this clip on someone else's blog recently...

They're called 'Show of Hands'. Guess what'll be on my next Amazon order...

Ok, back to work - taming the dreaded paperwork.

At last

2007-03-29T20:56:00.000+01:00

Finally got going again. With a large helping of Murphy's Law.

Picked up a new MAF sensor from a scrappy in Preston. But this merely took it from "die immediately" to "die after a minute".

So there I was, back at base, bemoaning the cost of a new Volvo part to a mechanic who has a nearby workshop and he said "Does it look anything like this one?" after rummaging about his bits pile.

Unbelievable!

10 minutes later I had it in situ and after 10 minutes driving around pronounced it a good 'un. Would you believe it...

But a good result in the end. £50 and a bit of labour from me seems a lot better than the usually quoted dealer prices of £2-300.

I then of course had to work till silly hours of the morning to catch up but hey ho...

BrumBrum a go-go!

2007-03-27T20:45:00.000+01:00

Ok, we're back on the road.

For those of you who are remotely interested, the battlebus coughed & stuttered once over the weekend and then yesterday died 4 or 5 times on the way back through from Liverpool.

Not Good.

Refused to run this morning, starting only to peter out with lots of misfiring.

This was different but certainly if you suffer a Volvo that suddenly starts cutting out then the prime suspect is the Fuel Pump relay Circuit. This is built into a fusebox relay holder and is easy to get to.

It's relay number 103 (on an 850/V70 anyway) and located in the fusebox, simple as that. If you take it out & prise off the cover, I've found that cleaning the relay contacts will bring a new lease of life. I did another 30k miles in my 850 after cleaning the relay & it was still going strong.

Just clean the contacts with alcohol (IPA, no - not India Pale Ale!)

Have a look here if you want to do a full job or cleaning doesn't work. This Fuel pump relay & the Cam Shaft Position Sensor are both common problems on Volvos and both are easy fixes for the DIYer.

So back to today, the Greenflag guy quickly traced the problem to the MAF sensor. That's Mass Air Flow and tells the computer how hard the engine's breathing basically.

That's the problem with modern cars, there's so many sensors on them feeding back information to the on-board computer that it only takes one of them to have an off day and you're scuppered. But all engines are run by computers now to get maximum efficiency and minimum emissions.

This is what the beastie looks like once removed from the overall MAF assembly.

In electronic terms it's nothing special. A hot-wire (hot film) anemometer actually. But the components are potted so no chance to refurbish it. If the engine's just running a bit rough then a good clean of the sensor can work but this one kills the engine stone dead as soon as it's plugged in.

Estimates are £200 - £300 from a dealer. Ouch.

Thankfully, I've found one in a breakers yard in Preston. £40. Guess where I'll be off to in the morning.

Fitting the entire MAF Sensor assembly looks like it'd take about 15 minutes due to where some screws are located but if I just change over the actual electronic core, then about 5 minutes. If I stop for a coffee halfway through.

Fingers crossed eh?

McBlog

2007-03-27T13:15:00.000+01:00

Ok, ok...

I know I've been a bit remiss in keeping the blog upto date recently but I've been kinda busy. If you don't know why, then all will be revealed in one of the McBlog installments.

But the blog wouldn't be complete without at least a quick description of the recent jaunt upto the land of haggis & whisky.

Bridge had never been north of the border before so we were keen to do a bit of a Cook's Tour and give her a taste of what Scotland has to offer. A wonderful country that's long been a favourite desination of mine.

So we packed. For a week.

Needless to say, only one of the many bags was actually mine.

If we go anywhere for a fortnight I might just need to hire a transit.

And off we went.

First stop Edinburgh. Always one of my favourite cities and nice to have a chance to do the tourist thing rather than be working up there.

Not a bad little hotel on the Grassmarket. Fairly cheap for the location. Bit shabby round the edges but friendly and ideally located.

As expected, it was a bit on the wet side but we didn't care. Fun was being had.

Khushi's on Victoria Street is simply the best Indian dining experience I have ever had. And I've had a few. Some good, some bad and some memorably primary coloured interpretation of food in Newport.

Great service, incredible decor, fantastic buzz and the food... oh wow! Muslim-run, it has no drinks licence but who needs alcohol when the fruit smoothies & lassis drinks are so fabulous.

Try it, you won't be dissapointed. Unless you prefer the sticky-carpet, phaal & lager type curry house that is.

I also exercised my powers of persuasion & took (dragged) Bridge into the Whisky Exhibition at the top of The Royal Mile. Very good it was too. Even if Bridge did refuse her free tot and gave it back before I could get my hands on it!!

But she made up for it by retaining the free tot of a very nice Shetland malt that we got as recompense for a power outage during the tour.

Very interesting, good overview of the history of Whisky and some of the nuances of this most delectable of spirits. Well worth a trip round and just look at the gift shop stocking around 270 whiskies. I hate to think how much Mark, Matt, Andy & myself could spend in there given unfettered funds...

From Edinburgh, the Volvo was pointed North for a couple of nights at Freuchie in the heart of Fife.

The hotel was a recommendation from the common tater and was a very nice spot. Excellent jacuzzi & swimming pool saw me fitting into swimming trunks & getting wet. Fortunately out of sight of the Japanese whaling fleet.

Days out to Arbroath, Dundee & Perth soon followed but the weather let us down apart from the afternoon in Arbroath.

You can get an idea of the weather conditions from the solar power demonstration at the RSPB sanctuary on the shores of Loch Levan.

...and yet still Northwards we went...

But that's another blog, on another day, with another cup of coffee.

Brum-brum no go-go

2007-03-27T13:05:00.000+01:00

Volvo.

The very word conjures up images of safety, dependability, reliability and the ability to move wardrobes across hundreds of miles at warpspeed.

Which is why I'm sat at home waiting for a GreenFlag contractor to turn up. Within an hour they said. That gives him exactly 6 minutes left to get here...

What's wrong? It no go-go, that's what. Actually it had given a warning cough at the weekend and then yesterday cut out several times. I was hoping to limp into the office today as there's a tame mechanic nearby and all my tools if it's electrical.

Symptoms are similar to a failing fuel pump relay circuit which went on my old 850. A quick clean of the relay contacts did the job that time but not this time. I've even bypassed the relay so the fuel pump is going continuously but still it splutters & dies after a second or two. With copious amounts of black smoke.

Hmm... a few ideas but we'll see. Certainly beyond the DIY tools I've got here at any rate.

I'll still refurbish the Fuel Pump Relay module though, there's a couple of electrolytic capacitors in there that tend to go apparently. 30p for afew caps & 10 mins of my time seems better than buying a new module...

Gah! Bloody cars. Might see Matt about getting a horse & carriage instead.

Are you regular?

2007-02-19T23:12:00.000Z

No, no, no... I'm not referring to your need for more or less fibre in your diet.

I'm just wondering how many regular lurkers there are out there reading this fine set of words.

The counter tells me I've had nearly 1400 visitors from all over the World - wow! But who are you all? Do you feel like a regular here? If so, do say hello...

I reckon I can work out who's responsible for the Merseyside & Toronto clusters but who else?

Or is this your first visit? How did you find this little outpost of cyber-ramblings?

Formby Pointing

2007-02-19T22:50:00.000Z

A run over to the National Trust at Formby Point saw Sunday taken care of (well, in part anyway. The day's other activities included....

....a roast lunch - what were you thinking???)

Excellent weather, but those squirrels don't half move fast when they think you're trying to take a photo!

QRZ?

2007-02-19T21:41:00.000Z

It's been a while since I've posted. Not through laziness (yeah, right) but just a general lack of time.

It doesn't mean that we've been idle though and a couple of weeks ago saw Bridge & I heading off to Fort Perch Rock.

What a gem of a find! It's my sort of place. It's part museum, part err.. umm... thingy! I think you could even hire it out for conferences if you want.

Personally, I'd love to buy it, convert part of it to living quarters and pour the rest of my millions into the museums and of course, reactivating the defences for when Mr Blair decides to visit. I may have to wait for a significant lottery win however...

But in the meantime, what can I say except GO, GO NOW! They need your money. It's privately run and contains some rather good - if at times run down - exhibitions on the Fort's history, maritime history, HMS Thetis, the Luftwaffe activity over Merseyside and more. We'll certainly be going back. For the sake of a few quid, this place needs your support!

There's an eclectic mix of exhibitions. Some very, very good wartime history displays that let you get very close to the day to day items of those dark days. Simple things like labels, groceries, signs, official booklets make all but the most casual observer pause & reflect on what life must have been like in those bleak days of air raid after air raid on Liverpool docks.

There's also one of the best small aviation museums I've seen. It's geared around WWII aircraft recovery so you won't see complete aircraft there. Just plenty of stories, often hand written by the volunteers, backed up by twisted bits of metal that once formed a flying machine. Incredible stories from incredible times. Hats off to the volunteers that both recover wreckage and piece together the stories behind the men & their craft.

We didn't get to see all of the place as dusk drew on but I was drawn by a sign that pointed the way to The Radio Room.

With a long-suffering sigh, Bridget trailed in my wake as I bounded up the steps - full geek mode engaged. Then a shout of glee as I saw some real electronics. Not these modern things that use surface mount components and horrible square waves but the world of pure analogue sine waves, glowing valves and things that you could hit with a hammer to fix... Ahh. Real Radio.

The Liverpool Marine Electronics & Radio Society has set up a very nice exhibition of equipment that still nestled deep within my memories of Radio College in the 80's. Indeed I still have my Horowitz & Hill on the shelf behind me - awarded to a student me way back in 1986 by that same Liverpool Marine Electronics & Radio Society. Sadly I never did make it to sea as the British Merchant Fleet was shrinking ever smaller at that time - perhaps I should have tried harder with hindsight.

But what a blast from the past. A selection that I immediately recognised and could certainly remember hours spent fault finding the gear room technicians' devious sellotaping of contacts...

A quick beeline for the morse key, re-gapped it and had a play. Rusty, very rusty was my verdict although readable. A visiting family thought I was staff however so spent the next few minutes explaining what the various items were and discovered that I can remember an embarrassing amount about Bellini-Tossi DFs and cardioid polar diagrams!

In these days of instant email, satcoms and International trunk dialling, it's hard to think that not that many years ago, long distance communications was quite literally in the hands of skilled wireless telegraphers. An art that has largely died out. But one I'm glad I learnt, I still remember the anxious wait for MRGC results when the BT International examiner was on site. 3 days of final exams. And after all that, if you don't get 100% on the SOLAS paper, you've had it...

I believe the plan is to turn the exhibition into a replica ship's radio room. If the clue is to be believed, possibly the Lady of Mann.

Enough wittering from me, go & visit the Fort. A good day out and something a bit different. There's even a Merseybeat exhibition there too.

Raita, Rivets & Rain

2007-01-21T22:47:00.000Z

So then, other than my mental health being monitored on a one-to-one basis, what did the weekend hold in store?

The ever tolerant Bridge got hauled along to a support call on Saturday and put up with me talking techno-gabble for an hour while she made friends with the customer & plotted our next destination.

Walked out of there with a trashed laptop, not the virus that the customer's son thought but a trashed XP thanks to a dodgy hard drive, currently whirring away to itself behind me as I type.

So...

Typing the blog
Drinking a bottle of real ale
Repairing a laptop
Watching "Escape from New York" on the gogglebox (Ernest Borgnine & Adrienne Barbeau's chest competing for the 'overacting' nomination)

All at the same time... Who says blokes can't multi-task?

(And it looks like the laptop has pulled through, just needs a standard service now to get it running a bit more smoothly but it can be moved from intensive care...)

Anyway, digressions aside, off we toddled to sunny Chester. One tea/coffee stop later, out came the cameras.

I have the better gadgets...

But Bridge clearly has the artistic flair...

Although I do like this one of mine from an arty moment on the Queens Park Bridge.

Unfortunately missed grabbing a beer from Mr & Mrs CowBlog's excursion into the rough end of Waterloo but we were trying out the new Indian & Sri Lankan restaurant.

Not bad at all was the overall verdict.

Not the cheapest of places but not the most expensive either. (£46 for 2 x starters, 2 x main & 2 rounds of drinks).

The decor is good, an interesting fusion of East meets West and they certainly aren't aiming themselves at the "10 pints of lager & a Vindaloo" crowd.

The menu is kept quite simple and at first glance the portions seemed small although we both left feeling full so appearances can be deceptive!

They've only been open 7-8 weeks and seem to be still finding their feet (have the owners run/owned/worked in a restaurant before I wonder, a couple of things suggest not) and had I suspect, been taken a bit by surprise by being so busy... We saw one table apparently leave without being served although our orders arrived in reasonable time.

If anything, they were almost trying a bit too hard but the niggles we saw were usually fairly small & didn't affect us. Crucially, the food was good so we will be back, although not every week.

Certainly worth a try but book first, we almost lost out but to their credit they found us a table at a very busy time.

Bridge went Indian, I went Sri Lankan. Vegie samosa & Chicken Tikka Massala for her - adjudged to be very good while I went for stuffed chicken legs as a starter. Quite spicy very nice but don't expect a lot of meat.

Black pork curry was to follow. Nicely spicy but why only pork? A bit more selection on the Sri Lankan side might be a good thing.

Naan breads are good there though, light & fluffy rather than the usual shoe soles and I heartily recommend the side order of chilli potatos, again pleasantly spicy.

Shows potential, well worth a visit says this critic... Good Luck to them.

Sunday saw the usual trip for lunch to Temptations cafe on St John's Rd. Fantastic food and every bit as good to eat as the expensive evening out the night before. Full roast with extra roast spuds... that'll do for me!

We then tried a run out to New Brighton.

Another Bridge Pic

It was a bit wet... We didn't stay.

A whole New Year

2007-01-15T01:12:00.000Z

Well, there we have it. 2007 is upon us already - may it be a fine, strong year and bring you all much health & happiness.

Sadly though so far it seems to have brought an extremely painful (and graphic) bowel infection to one Mr Cowblog, fortunately now on the mend before Mrs CowBlog does something unspeakable with a kitchen knife & buries him under the decking.

And what's more, some thieving, lowlife scum have - via a cloned card - emptied another mate's bank account without the Bank's security software apparently noticing. Thanks Barclays, we'll never get him to buy a round now!

So after that start, I hope your year continues to be more fun & less - err - character building.

So what have I been up to? New Year at the club heralded the start of 2007 - and a long walk home through the deserted streets of Crosby without the customary massed vomiting or knife fights now a few of the establishments are operating under slightly more onerous licence conditions.

Since then, there's been a lot of work. In the cold. A visitor to the office has graffitied my whiteboard complaining about the cold & lack of tea & biccies... understandable really, I should get round to sandblasting the mugs & getting the kettle going again but in the interim, my sanity has been saved by the gift of a 1 litre thermos flask (unlike the 400ml leaking version that had been pressed into service prior).

Fantastic! Thanks Bridge. Being a proper glass lined thermos type flask I can also use it to keep cold things cold so I'll be using it for a lunchtime ice cream as well as my coffee tomorrow...

With all imagers currently on the u/s list, imager repairs, surveys, accounts, paperwork & dead PCs all piling up, I've got a busy week or two ahead of me. But determined that this is going to be the year of breaking away from the current workshop & getting somewhere with a bit more space to open my options out a bit. Ok, I know the current place needs a tidy but even then there wouldnt be enough space!

I have my beady eye on somewhere that looks ideal but I'm not ready to get that rolling till some of my existing backlog is out of the way so we'll see if it's still there in a few weeks or if it's been snapped up by someone rushing to open up their dream widget shop.

Yesterday saw me & my accompanying nutty nurse head off to Wales for a quick outing. Not forgetting that North Wales is the preserve of the traffic taliban, cruise control was set & off we went.

To Rhyl.

Ahh. Sorry about that.

You see, I'd long since forgotten that Rhyl is in fact Blackpool - albeit with leeks. But apparently a goldmine for the twin Chav Gods - Elizabeth Duke & Burberry.

So we quickly retired back to the car not even stopping for a restorative cuppa and headed on to Conwy.

Very nice, really must visit again when a) It's not raining and b) it's open.

But when you can get absolutely fantastic scrambled egg on toast for £2.50 from the Pantri, then it's worth the trip.

How to follow that upon the first sunshine Sunday of the year? Off to Southport we went...

A quick call at Ainsdale Beach convinced us that the wind was infact blowing quite hard...

And then on to Southport Pier - coffee in the cafe of usual of course, full of windswept families counting children...

Trying out the new 200mm lens, taken from on top of the pier looking down, a gull that was still waiting for us on the return leg. Noway was he planning in flying in those crosswinds!

And another lovely creature in winter plumage...

A good day out but it's work tomorrow so need to go catch up on some snoring...

Happy Festive Season

2006-12-29T00:30:00.000Z

A Politically Correct
Christmas Greeting

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;

Additionally,

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)

Ahh, Bolllox to it! Happy Christmas to you all!

A good Christmas here, best for many years which not even a bout of man-flu can spoil.

Started off at B's on Christmas morn - we generated a lot of ripped wrapping paper, very nice! - but someone had drawn the short straw & had to work so I dissappeared off to see Mum for the afternoon, all good, happy & spells in abeyance.

A good get together with the CowBlog extended family & the Common Tater spoilt by a bout of snuffles that has now turned from a cold into full blown man-flu.

The elves of Satan have been trampling up & down my throat - wearing their hobnail boots. While their mates have joined in sledgehammering my kidneys and innards.

But I've been placed in quarantine whilst the Whisky takes effect. It had better do soon, I've nearly run out...

It's done & so am I...

2006-12-21T20:48:00.000Z

I talk of the beast that must be tamed.

The dread fear that stalks the land at this time.

The phrase that causes hardened men to wimper out loud before casting anxious glances around in search of the nearest sanctuary purveying fine alcoholic refreshments...

For I talk of Christmas Shopping...

I was perhaps a little late in starting today. Yesterday was the official corporate Christmas pub crawl held in the company of the staid & sober individuals at Chambers & FischerCrowne, not to mention some well known figures on the Liverpool legal & accountancy scene.

I know we started about midday. I also know I got home about 22:00.

I have no wish to calculate the number of pints sunk. But a good time was had by all.

And I awoke to that sublime delicacy this morning, cold pizza! Yum!

So anyway, actually got out to do today's planned shopping in the afternoon. Had to nip to the bank in Crosby and just chanced to go into a local independant retailer nearby - who had exactly the thing I was looking for - so that was one off the list straight away - a good omen indeed!

Then into Southport - pick up some internet shopping waiting for me at my very friendly local Post Office - I do hope they're not going to be subject to Blair's axe. After all, they provide a welcome service to the local business & domestic community. Efficient, cheerfull & effective. I'm sure that breaches several of Nu-Lab's charters...

And then I succumbed... Into the Asda to pick up some vital bits (milk, wine) and I saw a radio that'd been out of stock before. A radio sought after by Mother since she accidentally cast a spell of silence on the old one.

So I rang her - to check if indeed it was the right one. Good job I did, since I'd got the wrong one to start with!

But that was not the best time for her to start a conversation about the minutiae of the day.

"I'm in Asda, I'm surrounded by drooling imbeciles - and that's just the staff -, I'm tired, hungry & I'm rapidly losing the will to live..." And I rang off...

But it's all done. I feel like I've marched over the Pennines - twice. Without boots. I'm still hungry.

And I appear to have spent the national debt of a small South American banana republic.

I knew I should have left it to Christmas Eve...

Beta

2006-12-14T21:43:00.000Z

Blogspot encouraged me to move over to the new 'Beta' blogging software.

"It's ready for everyone to use" They Said.

I really should have known better.

...and I've given up trying to sort out the formatting in the previous post -life's too short!

I'm Back!

2006-12-14T01:22:00.000Z

Well, I've never been away but I have been a tadge busy what with juggling electrons & molesting nurses at any opportunity.

So what's been happening since I last posted I hear you ask? Or is it the voices again??

There's been beer, meals, beer & more meals.

I've been working on one of these

With the help of plenty of

But that's all done & it's gone off home now.

Plenty of other work on, too much in a way but it's better that way than the opposite I can tell you. I just need to find some time to do Christmas shopping - in a shock move, I've already bought one present at this early part of the month. But I'm sure Christmas Eve tradition will be upheld by my joining all the other blokes trailing round in a futile search for The Gift before admitting defeat and retreating to the pub for emergency re-hydration.

There was also a flying visit (quite literally) from the Toronto Missionary who was re-introduced to the ancient art of getting legless in The Bells.

You see that quiz machine in the background?

Never let an inebriated former quizmaster have a go or you'll lose money faster than Gordon Brown betting on the leadership election results.

The Toronto Missionary looking concerned as the Common Tater shows off his duelling scar.

Matt decided on a quick last round - Andy was at this point beyond feeling pain and failed to be roused even by repeated verses of The Lumberjack Song.

Congratulations go to the new Mr & Mrs Cornforth. Rumour has it that Archie's speech ended up on YouTube - anyone got a link?

Beware of following that link actually, you may find a picture of a recumbent CowBlogger taking a bath in what appears to be the middle of a Country House Lounge. The things that MrsC has to put up with...

MrC is well ahead in the weightloss challenge but at least I feel fitter & can actually walk places these days (which is fortunate since B has a tendancy to go off yomping like a battle crazed Royal Marine in open country). Well Done MrC! 2½ Stone so far makes my 11lb look paltry but keep it up ya b'stard!

Old Mother Seabank had a birthday recently & got to meet B for the first time - no blood was spilt and I managed to hide the cauldron so everything went swimmingly.

Too good in fact, I suspect the pair of them are exchanging spells and plotting to turn me into a newt...

But a cracking meal was had at the Eagle & Child. One of my old haunts from years ago, still with a fine selection of Real Ales and superb food. Recommended.

Right, it's now just gone 0200 and the OS has loaded on the PC build for the best little flower shop in the North West so I'm off home... ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Any old iron?

2006-11-16T02:02:00.000Z

Saving The Iron Men

This art installation has given a unique vibrancy to this semi-industrial beach, they work well & there's plenty of alternative space for other water front users.

That's what I said a few posts back and it's true! They work unusually well in my opinion, they suit the character of the beach and the local inhabitants and visitors alike.

Some say that no extra money has been spent locally because of them... hogwash I say! Hogwash!!

Look at my pictures of a recent visit, that's a visitor. Who then had a meal locally. That's increasing the area income. Improving local business improves the area through stability, employment & the consequent spending of improved incomes.

Want to do something about their impending loss?

Look what I just found here...

A petition...

You know what to do.

And now it's time for bed said Zebedee...

Wind, water & wobbly-pop...

2006-11-15T20:39:00.000Z

I can feel the hot, rancid breath of a Cowblog hot on my heels as he sloughs off weight like Mr Blobby unzipping the suit but in a triumph of wishfull thinking & late weigh-in, there's another 2lb gone this week - that's 10lb gone since I decided enough was enough two months ago. Not quite as good as the 30lb+ shed by MrC but enough to stop him overtaking me - just. Only just.

And we won't mention he's about 2ft higher than I am...!

[Argh!! NO... in a flash update whilst writing the blog, I've just discovered he's equalled me! Well done MrC... pah! But I'm not off for a jog in this bloody weather... (or in any weather come to that!)]

And so the weekend.

It rained. And it was windy. And it was stormy.

So what did we do? Of course, down to the beach we went. The Iron Men are still there for the time being, pending their appeal. They work just as well in stormy conditions - unlike the jetskiers who have fought so well to deprive the silent majority of this great work. (And I never thought you'd hear me say that about modern art!)

It was bracing...

Very nice actually. And we did see one brave soul eating ice cream. Fair to say the coffee/tea van was doing better trade!

Crosby Beach in all its storm-wracked splendour. Very good to see, lots of people with huge grins getting blown about all over the place. The photos were a bit rushed though, but I was getting soaked with salt spray at the time!

Sunday was a meander into Southport after a stop for sunday lunch on St John's Road. Temptations cafe, excellent spot. Good food, big portions and I'm told, a plate of Scouse just like yer Ma used to make. Highly recommended and always full of locals - a good sign.

Roast spuds & Yorkshire Pud cravings satisfied, walking it off was demanded so onto the new Southport pier we went.

Did you know? It's a mile long? Each Way? Well, you do now. A nice stroll - with a cafe at the end for a reviving cuppa.

I think Bridge is the only person I know who gets a personal Christmas Card from PG Tips...

Oh yes.. the Wobbly-Pop part of the title?

We went out to a function that I couldn't duck on the Saturday - at a local Members' Club - where Bridge was much admired by the lecherous, blazer-clad pensioners. Hands-off Boys! She's mine!!

Not that anybody was wobbly afterwards of course... oh no, on pain of death, oh no....

[For I have been threatened with extreme violence should I divulge the truth about someone tripping over their own, very nice, kinky boots]

Of Blogs, weekends & man-flu

2006-11-06T20:48:00.000Z

Looking at the counter, I appear to have gained a few visitors recently - What can I say except "Hi Ange!"

Great news from the Cowblog - in drinking nearly 7 pints of water per day, not only has he shifted a shedload of weight but he's also been accepted in the Cumbria Voluntary Fire Service in case they run short on water from the hydrants. Although there remains some doubt as to whether his hose will reach the fire...

Thankfully in spite of a weekend of drinking & meals out, I still lost 1lb last week and so remain just ahead of MrC - phew!

But what a good weekend that was.

Friday was a revisit to Il Forno to see if it was as good as we remembered from Andy's leaving do - which some of us can only vaguely remember apparently.

Although I can't talk. I couldn't remember what I had last time for main course till exactly the same dish arrived this time - nothing but consistent!

And yes, it was good. Very good in fact. Superb bit of fillet steak. Good service, nice wine, great company.

Although worryingly Mark claims to have 'gone off steak'. This may well be a clone with the original languishing in a mad scientist's dungeon for all we know... But it can't be the real Mark...

More true to form however, Mark admitted to having been warned to be on 'his best behaviour'. Surely not! But never fear mate, Bridge thought you were 'very nice' - but don't get bigheaded, she thinks the same of Matt too!!

A quick trip back to Alma da Cuba but a bit packed by that time so onto Flanagan's before grabbing a taxi back - you know you're getting on a bit when you're going home passing the taxis taking everyone else into town! We must have a Flanagan's outing again sometime, do like the live 'high speed drinking' fiddle music but don't think any of us were up for shouting over crowds the other night.

Saturday saw a trip to Edwards for an excellent Chinese meal as ever. That followed a trip to Ikea for my new desk - they actually had it in stock this time. Boy, do I know how to show a girl a good time or what?

Sunday included a walk round the pinewoods at Formby - what an excellent spot! Ridiculous to think that I've never been into that part of the woods/beach since I was 7 or 8. I might just have to buy a bucket & spade for the next trip...

And we said hello to a couple of Red Squirrels - much more refined than their loutish grey cousins.

And on the topic of the beach, Cowblog says it all in his support of The Iron Men - I couldn't agree more. Once more, the cult of mediocrity has ruled.

The jet skiers have won - on the few times I've seen them on that part of the beach (before Iron men), it was they, the jet skiers who were the hazard to other beach users so I'd suggest they put their own house in order before bleating.

This art installation has given a unique vibrancy to this semi-industrial beach, they work well & there's plenty of alternative space for other water front users. So how about a bit of common sense from Sefton Council?

Ah, I've just answered my own question haven't I..?

And then to cap it all off, I've got a cold. Bah! Humbug! Gah! Achoo!

...and what do I get off my favourite Head-Nurse?

Just make sure you increase your fluid intake, as your temperature will be raised and you will be sweating more... No, Dunc, I don't mean your whiskey intake!! Water is very good for you!!

But that's fair enough, I can live with that.

In fact I can guarentee that when I get home, not a spot of whiskey will pass my lips...

(It's not just Nick Freeman that can spot a good loophole when he sees one!)

Hop-along

2006-10-31T23:48:00.000Z

This is getting silly!

I haven't dropped anything on my foot, kicked anyone or even upset a witch (Mother excepted).

Been hobbling around since back end of last week but felt something 'move' in the bad foot whilst sat in the cinema on Saturday & then it improved rapidly.

Indeed, with the amount of beer drunk at Vince's party, I almost ran up the hotel stairs!

But since, it's back with a vengeance - Argh! What a pain in the ar.. feet....

The pain woke me up a couple of times in the night & was so bad I got up at the unheard of time of 0500 with the intention of going down to A&E. That's how bad it was!

But after a shower & the obligatory coffee, it had eased a bit. Certainly not bad enough to warrant a trip to A&E although walking (or trying to!) still turned the air blue with a selection of choice epithets. So went back to bed!

Managed to pop into a client in Liverpool this afternoon but that wasn't the most pain free experience I've ever had - it took me a while to get from the carpark, even using a borrowed golf umbrela as a walking stick!

It wasn't getting any better so thought I'd call into the Litherland walk-in (hobble-in?) centre. Quite a good facility although I suspect it works best if you already know what the problem is & need stitches or you've broken something etc.

There's no significant swelling and good pulses. The tender spot appears to be around the achillies tendon but after a spot of groping of calves from two nurses (now that's great service!!), she was happy that it wasn't anything in particular other than a general soft tissue soreness.

I'd carried on using ibuprofen gel on the area but both the nurses pooh-poohed it in favour of ibuprofen tablets. Interestingly, both regarded the gels as a complete waste of space.

So now on ibuprofen & paracetemol, along with a freeze spray. It took me a while to hobble to the medical aisle at Tescos - Why do they put it at the far end of the store?

It might be better in the morning - or then again, I may have to do battle with the gorgons guarding the GPs' inner sanctum...

I do hope these feet problems won't jeopardize my callup to the Liverpool team...

Off on a wander...

2006-10-30T15:50:00.000Z

"I'm throwing a halloween party" said Vinny... "Come in fancy dress if you like"

So, having decided that my face was costume enough, off to sunny Peterborough we trundled having secured a room at the local travel hovel - very nice it was too. At least they've improved the breakfasts these days.

Nightmare run down with long delays on all the motorways but I was fine, travelling as I was with excellent company in the delectable shape of Bridget who, in her guise as musicmeister, took us from the latest chart stuff back to the days of swing & big bands. Ol' Blue Eyes getting the weekend's award for most airtime we reckon.

Having hurt my ankle - to the point of hobbling like an old man (no comments required MrC!), I was most impressed with this NHS policy of one-to-one care, even if she refuses to acknowledge whisky as a perfectly valid medicinal option for anything from dodgy ankles to man-flu.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we got into the restaurant on Friday night only a couple of minutes past the cut-off time to have it explained by the duty shirt that the kitchen was now turned off and had been for some time... hmmm...

But he recommended a Chinese just up the road. An unconvential setting, in a row of shops in a deserted (small) shopping precinct, looked like they'd taken over a couple of shops, tacked a kitchen on and off they went.

Worryingly, we were the only people in - service was good though! And the food was good so it worked out well in the end. Sod the diet, that seaweed was nice.

Onto the Saturday; A bit constrained by the ankle but we went for a wander around the adjoining country park, very nice it is too.

...a snapped shot of the shy & reclusive local wildlife was followed by the obligatory cuppa before heading off to try & follow some directions. In spite of those, we still managed to find the local cinema & watched The History Boys. Non-gory, mildly amusing and BBC Films at their best. A modern Mr Chips & well worth watching.

And so... off to the party! Looking forward to catching up with Vince - the man responsible for many periods of amnesia during my CAA times. And at least 5 years since we'd curried on South Road.

But in spite of the passage of time, his boyish good looks remain unchanged...

An excellent night was had by all, in spite of the new Bar Manager having needed some persuasion to honour the existing booking.

The stress of it turned Vince grey overnight obviously...

With about 60% of the guests being involved in some way with the entertainment/radio/DJing industries, it was a miracle the kit survived intact but it did & was collected the next day by a suitably hung-over Vinny...

Great Sunday Roast - thanks Ness!!

...and Bridget even pretended not to mind when Vince & I descended into techno-babble or went & pointed at big engines making burbling noises (that could've been either us or the engines in fact...). What a girl!!

It is however, the only kitchen I've seen that has a flying pig in-situ.

Great weekend but now I think I need to sleep...

Internet Power III

2006-10-17T00:10:00.000+01:00

...and whilst I'm updating the blog, (waiting for XP to load on a client's machine), you might have noticed I've not been about just as much lately. I've been busy 'offline'...

Well, again, it's down to the power of the internet for online dating is not just about fat, balding, pizza-eating techno-geeks with an unhealthy interest in StarTrek, although that - some would say - is a pretty fair description of your scribe.

But for one poor girl, the above combination proved to be a heady mix and things are going very well indeed. :)

Checklist?

Alcoholic? - Nope, hardly drinks. (Although some would say that I'm enough to drive anyone to drink...)

Goodlooking? : Obviously I think so. Says she's 5'7" but either I've shrunk or she's grown - I hesitate to say which although MrC doubtless won't hold back! Dark brown hair, hazel eyes, an easy laugh & a killer smile. What more can I say?

BunnyBoiler? : Not a sign of Bugs being in any danger.

Religion? : She worships at Anfield - that'll please MrCowblog!!

Net dating? How very 21st Century! Naturally, her family assume that I'm an internet-based homicidal, axe-weilding maniac.

Not true.

I prefer things with engines... I use one of these instead.

Internet Power II

2006-10-16T23:53:00.000+01:00

A few posts ago, I mentioned an appeal that was set up by a small group of motoring enthusiasts over at pistonheads following Richard Hammond's accident.

Thankfully the hamster seems to be doing well although there'll probably be a long period of recuperation ahead. Initial reports suggest the teeth are fine though!

Anyway, the appeal was started with the intention of raising the approximate cost of one air ambulance sortie - £340.

That was soon beaten & the target raised. And again. And again.

At the time of my last post, it stood around £18,000. A fantastic achievement in anyone's book.

Except it now stands at an incredible £174,000!! Plus reclaimed tax in excess of £40k - now that I like!

The internet community can at times, be just that.

The place is going to the (muzzled) dogs

2006-10-16T23:40:00.000+01:00

Saw a report recently that due to concerns over 'Human Rights' that police dogs in North Wales are now to be muzzled and expected to subdue violent lowlife by butting them.

Butting them? Surely the Force would be better off employing a gang of Glaswegian skinheads instead of the highly trained dogs...

Not being a Policeman, I hope my finely tuned investigative mind isn't letting me down but isn't the whole point of a policedog the fact that it has large, pointy teeth, growls a lot and is likely to sink those teeth into your squelchy bits if you try & make a run for it?

But of course, this comes from North Wales. Where Police Officers are given sunscreen & worry bracelets. Where 1mph over the limit gets a ticket but the Chief says that's ok since car drivers are a bigger menace to society than those carrying knives.

I feel sorry for the poor bobbies at the sharp end, it's hardly doing what they joined up for and morale must be lower than a low thing on discount tuesday.

What next?

Sponge truncheons?

The latest issue to the armed response units?

You couldn't make it up - but in President Tony's Britain, you don't need to...

Internet Power

2006-09-21T20:27:00.000+01:00

It's been a bad few weeks for TV personalities what with the sudden death of Steve Irwin, a man both passionate & knowledgeable about his subject.

And then, driving home last night I heard a report on the radio that a Top Gear presenter had been seriously injured. An un-named 36 year old described as "frequently testing fast cars" so my first thought was The Stig but no, turns out it was everybody's favourite rodent - the Hamster.

TopGear is no longer the preserve of William Woollard & Chris Goffey types talking about wishbones and McPherson struts but a light entertainment show, tainted with the drifting fumes of optimax that appeals to petrol heads & the un-enlightened alike. Well ok, the lentilists don't like it but what are they doing watching telly when they could be knitting their own yoghurt and complaining about people wearing bright jumpers in built up areas?

But one of my top 10 pieces of funny tv has to be Clarkson waxing lyrical about the Volvo T5 when that first came out. And unlike some programs, Clarkson, May & Hammond are all established motoring journalists in their own right. I liked that T5 piece so much, I always promised myself one. What next?

A dream job some would say. Yeah, I wouldn't object! But I wonder if I would've had the balls to get in something this size...

...and then light the blue touchpaper until 300mph appears in front of you? Good on him. He's the only TG presenter that actually holds an MSA race licence as far as I know but that hardly comes close to the performance of this thing.

So how did the Internet react?

High marks go to the guys at B3TA who soon came out with this.

Somehow I think the TG guys would approve :)

But there was something else going on in a small, dark corner of cyberspace. A forum - that I've been known to frequent in lieu of a coffee break - called pistonheads was discussing the accident. And just like in a real life pub, some of the regulars decided to have a quick whip round for the air ambulance charity. In this case the Yorkshire Air Ambulance. Air ambulances do sterling work up & down the UK in getting accident victims to hospital within the all important golden hour.

There's about 16 air ambulance charities up & down the UK. They take approximately £1M per year to run. £16M. £16M?? That barely covers the Deputy PM's pie budget yet the air ambulance service receives no Government funding.

In some countries, air ambulances are paid for by the insurance companies because saving lives is cheaper than paying out(!) - that's how effective they are.

And as for all those speeding fines that go back to the 'Safety Camera' Pratnerships... Wouldn't it be nice to see them spent on genuine road safety initiatives, training or fed into the air ambulance system rather than buying comfy chairs & plush offices?

The initial aim of the PH regulars was to raise £340 - the average cost of an air ambulance sortie and a donation page at justgiving was set up.

I tipped a couple of quid into the pot. At that point the total stood at £160ish. We thought we were doing well.

Then the donation page at http://www.justgiving.com/PHRichardHammond escaped into the wild.

It now stands at nearly £18,000 and rising! That'll pay for over 50 life-saving sorties.

Now that's the power of the net...

Perhaps the Internet community is (sometimes) about more than just porn...

Ground based but a compelling read about the day to day life of a Paramedic, there's an excellent blog to be read. Witty, funny, thought provoking and all the rest of it - I even bought the book!

And if you're feeling charitable but want an alternative, then how about another favourite - Kirsty Howard, still beating the odds. [Appeal]

Edited to add:

Sad to see that the lentil munching anti-car, anti-speed, anti-fun lobby are already using this in their anti-speed arguements.

It wasn't on a public road fer crying out loud! If speed per se is inherently dangerous, I do hope that all the anti-car/anti-speed lobby will go without their foreign holidays from now on. After all, an Airbus takes off at 180mph and cruises at 550mph...

It's gotta go...

2006-09-11T20:01:00.000+01:00

Been more than a bit busy - though that's no bad thing at all.

Lots of IT stuff in and working like stink on a georectifying project to get imagery back out to Client to meet deadline.

But I can tell you, this office loses its appeal at 2 in the morning.

Unfortunately, this lifestyle leads to an intimate knowledge of every fast food joint around Birkdale & a rapidly expanding Dunc. So much so that if I go down onto Crosby beach, I've got to keep moving otherwise Greenpeace turn up & try & roll me back into the water.

It's a Crosby affliction obviously as the Cowblog has already attacked & leads the way with a commendable loss. Although with a picture of him wearing hooped ear-rings, I think dieting is the least of his problems...

But enough is enough, the back injury keeps complaining (Toptip: Don't carry 10+ CRT monitors up rickety stairs in an old bank building) to the point where it gets painfull to walk. Shocked myself walking across Liverpool today at how bad I was, might be something to do with carrying the equivalent of a 56lb bag of spuds around all day I suppose eh?

So at 19st+ the line is drawn, let battle commence.

But just how the hell do you find nice food to eat & satisfy when working late into the evenings? A trend that will continue for the next week or two for sure...

Lord Flashheart

2006-08-21T17:27:00.000+01:00

While looking for some other work related photos, I just had to scan this one that I found...

This Cowblogging extra from TopGun now thankfully hides behind a beard!

This was taken shortly after take-off from what we christened the most unfriendly airfield in Great Britain if I remember correctly. Remember which survey?

That was the weekend...

2006-08-21T16:19:00.000+01:00

Undercooked chicken, overdone sausages, sunshine & beer.

That at least was the plan for part of the weekend but alas, it was not to be.

MrCowblog wisely deciding not to incur the wrath of MrsCowblog by inviting 20+ guests to drip all over the house cancelled the shindig in the face of torrential rain, howling gales & some quite spectacular thunderstorms.

Shame - but quite understandable!

So instead, proving that I know how to have a good time, off to Ikea I went. For I need a larger desk to finish my office space at the flat.

I checked the website. Desk - in stock. Glass cover for desk - in stock.

Guess what? Pah... Neither of them actually there. Thanks a bunch. Hope you catch a strange & virulent form of food poisoning from your next helping of of elk meatballs.

That reminds me, I need to write a stroppy email.

But on the bright side, I've now put up a glass noticeboard, some kitchen fittings and I have a pile of wood, screws & assorted fittings on the lounge floor that I'm promised will turn into a filing cabinet.

I left it overnight in the hope the Elves would build it for me but that must be an optional extra as there was no sign. Perhaps I should have left them a screwdriver.

The cottage is currently being repainted (woodwork, not the masonry) as otherwise some of the windows might have fallen out.

Good guy doing it who did some other work a while back. Although I got a stressed phone call (well several actually) from Mum who's distressed that he's not picked all the rubbish/sandings/off cuts up (the job isn't finished yet!), thinks it should have been started two months ago and that the colour isn't right (it'll weather) and why can't you get tradesmen who'll work all day for 'two & six' and accept a flogging these days?

This - and more - is of course, all my fault...

I hope he's finished soon. For the sake of my nerves. He got rained off this morning. That too is of course my fault...

But if you really want house related stress, this is the blog to read.

What a fantastic blog. Fantastic location. Fantastic design. Fantastic photos.

I won't even comment on the car.

The guy's a pro musician. Wish I'd paid more attention to playing recorder in junior school...

Curry , Beer & Grouse

2006-08-13T01:43:00.000+01:00

What a splendid evening Friday turned out to be. In the company of MrCowblog, pints were consumed in the Volly & Marine followed by an appreciation of the medicinal values of turmeric, mango chutney & similar spices in The Gate (the better of the local curry houses).

Several (ok - numerous) bottles of Kingfisher were sunk & the World - if not put to rights - was certainly discussed in depth. Cheers Mark, excellent night.

Today was a trip over to the 'trailer park' to check Al's broadband. It's back up to exchange level but looks like their customer service still need to lift a bar - hopefully he's near the end of the nightmare though. If it goes on much longer, he's gonna go postal on them...

And then a wander back via some backroads & thought I'd call into Bygonetimes (an antiques/collectibles wharehouse) but some of the external shops are no longer there and wasn't overly impressed with what was on offer. It'd suit interior decorators & film props people though - I can't think of anyone else wanting to pay a tenner for 1970's plastic kitchen implemements.

They also own Botany Bay & think that's probably got more stuff to my taste so might pop over there one day. But at least I spent no money. Which is good, since I really ought to go buy a filing cabinet tomorrow to tame some of the paperwork that's fluttering around the flat.

And a phone message says there may be some work available overseas - could be interesting although might have to raid the piggy bank for airfairs.

Last similar job, I used Matt as a gopher.

He's part way through pulling some cables (all colour coded) and client engineer walks in - Matt turns to him & says... "Don't know why he lets me do this - I'm colour blind..."

Fortunately the client thought he was joking.

He wasn't!

Oh yeah, the Grouse in the title refers to The Glorious 12th of course. And I've been running a Grouse & food shindig in the Club this evening. Grouse liqeuor went down very well with everyone. The Grouse Malt was also worth a taste, never seen either of those before.

Congratulations Mr Seabank...

2006-08-10T20:59:00.000+01:00

...were the words I heard from the Police Officer sat beside me. But why?

Let's rewind a good few months.

In an idle moment, I'd been scouring the net and idly looking at fun car-based training from people like RideDrive & Cadence who run all sorts of courses from the fleet stuff through to performance based hooning, track days, skid pans and all manner of internal combustion tomfoolery. Looks like fun although I might have to save the pennies a bit though.

Reading their blurbs, they say you'll get more out of their training if you've already had some advanced tuition.

Around the same time, one of the local plod called into the office for his regular "I've broken my PC - what do I do?" type chats. And being a Volvo fan his talk turned to the T5 sat outside. "Nice motor" he said "But you want to think about getting some more training to handle it..."

Hmm. I disagreed with that (it's not that powerfull, I couldn't afford a T5-R!) but what the hell my curiosity was piqued. So in a further moment of weakness, I looked up advanced training. Locally, the only real option was the IAM. The Sefton group in particular. All the groups are run by volunteers - that can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the mix of course!

Even though I knew people who were a) good and b) quick drivers who were IAM qualified (the Mad Monk of Mawdesley for example) my perception was of an organisation dominated by the over-80, do 10mph-below-the-limit types with no experience of real world driving.

Although looking round the web forums, theres a good few people with serious machinery who have done IAM (& usually used it as a springboard for even more advanced stuff rather than donning the flat cap & tartan car blanket).

So sod it, I signed up.

And yes, it's a cross section of society. There's people who are doing it through work (if you employ people who drive as part of their job (reps, service engineers etc) then HSE suggest that duty of care would be well served by providing advanced tuition. Something to do with the 70% accident reduction that's claimed...)

Then there's people doing it for no real defined reason (other than they're closet Guardian readers who think cars are inherently dangerous - I suspect many of them don't actually finish the course)

People doing it because they've had a crunch and want to improve. People doing it because they're simply scared of driving & want more confidence.

And then there's the petrolheads. The ones that enjoy their driving, understand how a car works and simply want to prove to themselves that they can hack it or acknowledge that they want to be better.

A very friendly group, meets in Southport for theory sessions & the initial intro meeting so that wasn't too bad to get to.

To be fair, a lot of the techniques, I'd come across when doing motorcycle training (where it's drummed in as basic skills - to try & keep you alive!) but learning the formal system of control seems very strange if you've any long term experience. There's a lot of habits to undo.

And yes, they're anal about speed. They have to be as an official organisation. But at ground level, there's the odd nod & a wink.

Had a local guy acting as my observer (unpaid, voluntary advisor), did 7 runs out before the test.

But at least I got him to go from:

"Watch your speed, it's a big, powerful car this"

to

"Go on! Give it some!" Hehe - another convert to the altar of Optimax.

And on the subject of speed, if you do drive everywhere as Mr 10mph-below-the-limit without good reason, you'll fail for not making good progress.

And there's elements of the teaching that I disagree with but by necessity it has to be a one-size-fits-all and it was quite forcibly pointed out to me that once passed, I was then free to use & discard the elements in a manner that worked for me. So long as I stuck to the core system & most importantly thought about my actions.

Those who know me will know how difficult it would have been to stick rigidly to the speed limits for a 2hr run. Mind you, it's surprising how poor the observation of some people is.

Imagine, you come up fast behind a T5 Volvo Estate. There's obviously 2 blokes sat in the front. There's an extra mirror stuck to the windscreen and it's doing smack on the speed limit. What does that all say to you? Well there's still a lot of people that would tailgate you. One of these days they'll come across something looking similar but with the optional blue lights fitted!

And just imagine going back to those L-plate maneouvres. C'mon, any of us that've been driving a while are used to getting lost in a city and just turning round on a sixpence - anywhere you can. But you try doing it the 'proper' way by reversing round a corner. Surprisingly difficult & most embarrasing to get wrong when you regularly park in tight corners with no problems.

Was it worth doing? Yes, certainly - although there's an element of luck as to what the composition of your local group is like.

So fast forward to today.

Test time. Re-scheduled after being cancelled. The heart is beating fast. Mentally it's swinging between "piece of cake" and "I haven't got a fooking chance". Pass rate is somewhere around 60% from what I'd seen.

Remember, the examiner is a serving Police Class 1. Excess speed is not going to be an option. Hurling insults at other road users might not be good. Driving with one hand whilst changing CDs will definately not go down well.

But he's a decent guy. Made me look like an anorexic, I think they call him in when they forget the battering ram.

We do getting on for an hour and a half of solid driving. Urban, rural, M-way, you name it, we did it. With a continuous running commentary. That's bloody difficult! You try driving along justifying your every twitch, signal & position.

But I followed the advice of a wise old observer to "Don't let the bugger get a word in edgeways, he'll only ask you an awkward question!"

And the final result? "You have reached the required standard" followed by a debrief which included the words "excellent" and "superb commentary". He picked a few problem areas too but I'm not saying anything about those!

That was nerve wracking.

But a good birthday pressie all the same.

It might even bring my insurance down.

But I'm still not trading in the Volvo for a Micra & a tartan car-rug. If you see me with one, you have my permission to slap me repeatedly...

Gah!

2006-08-10T02:42:00.000+01:00

Don't you just hate it when you get in from an evening of toiling in front of a warm mic and think...

"TOAST!"

Then only when it pops out of the toaster, you notice the mould.

And the mould is smiling.

Dammit! Cheap cornflakes it is instead then. But at least I noticed this time. A while back I only noticed when I'd eaten most of it... Still, keeps the immune system exercised.

So I can have either crap bread that keeps, or real, nice bread that surrenders to the mould within 48 hours.

I blame the bakers. It'd be ok if SidC still had his bread round. And extended it to Waterloo...

So therefore it's all his fault. I feel better now.

But I'd still like some toast.

Fixed link

2006-08-09T00:31:00.000+01:00

Just spotted an error on a previous blog, the blogger software fell over thanks to the apostrophe in the Mastermind link url.

Now corrected. If you're curious.

Rolling back the years

2006-08-08T23:16:00.000+01:00

Not sure who took these but I found them in an old photo album at Mum's.

For a couple of years at school, a group of us got together for a bonfire party held at the home of ShelmaV & AlvanV. (Alvan being Shelma's kid brother, and I'm pretty sure I've remembered the non-standard spelling. Apologies if not.)

Good fun was had by all, foil wrapped baked potatoes, cinder toffee etc etc. All run by Mr & Mrs V who must have had a lot of patience to tolerate a lot of teenagers running around their garden!

As an aside, I've just got sidetracked by looking at some of the memories posted on Friends Reunited about Ormskirk Grammar School and laughing out loud, "I remember that/him/her!" Seriously, it was a crackingly good school - run on slightly old fashioned lines - with one of the best results for comprehensives in the UK. So good that they've now knocked it down... Typical of the current cult of mediocrity.

I'd happily shake the hand of any of the old OGS teachers now. Even the chemistry Master who told my Dad "Duncan will never find employment in any technical or scientific field" (We didn't see eye to eye).

Dad didn't believe him.

...but yer Dad's always right! :)

I even met up with a girl who'd been in my form at OGS a year or so back. That was quite bizarre in a nice way but it never went further than a drink & a meal out. A lucky escape for her no doubt!

Anyway, I digress - back to bonfire night...

So, apologies for the poor quality pics, the originals weren't marvellous. I'm not even sure who took them.

Probably the worst photo in terms of contrast colour etc but hey, these were pre-digital times! I can't date it accurately but I think it would be about 1981/82.

Yes. That is me in the white polo neck.

The girl to the right of me is ShelmaV (I thought she was very cute but to my chagrin, never did anything much about it. Ahh, teenage shyness!) and the lad with the horizontally banded jumper is her brother Alvan.

The bloke to the left is Mr V. Good on him for organising the fire & food. (As I recall, they were a religious family - think he was actually a Minister of some form - and there was no booze kicking around. But only being 14/15 or so we wouldn't have wanted any anyway... err...)

This photo is notable really for the appearance of a very young Matt (see the Common Tater on the sidebar) in the black top in the middle of the photo. (Could've guessed he'd be centre of attention even then - Mr Showbiz!)

And another.

I can't remember all the names, anyone care to refresh my memory?

But we've got MaryO, SusanH(I think), WendyM (Big Sis to the Common Tater), ShelmaV (with a possible RachelK hiding behind her), Me & ChrisB - my best mate at school. Ran into a few difficulties on leaving school but last I heard he was doing ok. Hope so.

Was I ever that thin??

And I remember thinking how cool I looked in that top. Look... it was the 80's ok? I was young. And don't forget that I have (or can obtain!) photographic proof of my friends equal lack of fashionsense! (Only problem being that I've retained my ability to bypass fashion by a large margin :) )

No, I can't remember what I was laughing at!

Good Times. And I'm still in touch with two of 'em. Matt & WendyM, good people both.

Even if frighteningly, I was at a 40th birthday party for Wendy recently! Great party Wend, but yikes, I thought we were all still in our twenties!!

Drip, drip, drip

2006-08-08T22:21:00.000+01:00

Picture the scene if you will gentle reader.

Step 1. Your intrepid blogger locks up the workshop & heads home.

Step 2. Stopping only to drop off a fixed PC to a Crosby local (George the painter who only recently redecrorated the flat for me. Good painter but obviously insomniac, liking to start at 0700 - I didn't know it was light at that time of day!) and...

Step 3. Convert part of the fee for Step 2 into alcohol at the local purveyor of fine lager in cans.

Step 4. Arrive back at the flat, cans in fridge, ready to relax & enhance some scanned photos (see next blog).

Drip, Drip, Drip.

Step 5. Think "Hark! is that the sound of dripping water I can hear?"

Step 6. Swear.

Step 7. Bound up the stairs like gazelle being pursued by pointy toothed thing.

Step 8. Into bedroom. Gaze in wonderment at the light fitting pretending to be a hosepipe.

Step 9. Gosub Step 6. Repeat.

Step 10. Whilst Step 6 is running in the background, gather towels & container.

Step 11. Run upstairs & pound on door.

Fortunately it wasn't anything as drastic as a burst pipe. Just an untucked shower curtain while a baby was being washed (presumably with a jet washer!).

The drips are slowing down at least.

And I suppose the floor needed washing.

But I'll have to clear the junk off the futon (thanks for that Mr & Mrs C!) to sleep tonight!

Better not turn on the bedroom light for a day or two either. Oh well, it'll save the electric bill.

Radio Ga-Ga

2006-08-02T22:29:00.000+01:00

Just read an excellent post (bordering on a rant but his medication doesn't always work) from my mate Vince.

Talking about the hysteria whipped up about mobile phone masts and that actually being right under them is the point of lowest field strength due to the way radio waves propogate and very rightly pointing out that the same hyterical parents that want to ban them on school buildings are the ones that then go & buy young Johnny the latest mobile.

However did I manage to survive a childhood without a mobile?

But what Vince forgot to mention was the biggest danger of all to the staff in schools with a cellsite attached.

...and that's the frantic swearing of the engineer when:

a) He realises that he's left the essential back-to-back N type cable at the last site. 20 Miles away.

b) He drops something large & heavy on his foot.

c) He's confronted with a large, hairy, unhappy & unfeasibly large spider lurking in the depths of the equipment cabinet, fangs glistening with the blood of the last service engineer.

d) He realises that his flask is empty & the school doesn't have bacon butties on tap.

Or most likely

e) His dawning realisation that this isn't an interesting fault call but a two-day re-calibration exercise and he's forgotten the paint that he wanted to watch dry.

Yes, that's the biggest danger of having cell sites in school buildings - the dangers to those teachers' ears from the techie's language.

(There's no damage likely to the kids' ears - who do you think taught the techie those rude words?)

For, my friends, I was that Engineer...

(Actually, I must confess. I never left an N type cable at a cell site that I can remember. But I do remember hearing it rattle off the roof and watching it bounce behind me on the M6 one day. Oops.)

Hic

2006-08-01T12:30:00.000+01:00

Persuaded Matt out for a beer or three last night.

Into The Bells, been a while since I've had a few in there but no real change except I recognise far fewer of the faces these days. To think that at one stage we used to serve ourselves - the current Management would have a fit!

No hangover but a strange feeling of lethargy tells me I had a few. (well, that & the curiously empty wallet).

A full English would be good but the on-site cafe is closed today. Shame.

A good check of just how much you're trembling the morning after is this co-ordination check.

What does this button do?

2006-07-31T16:20:00.000+01:00

It was just over twenty years ago that the name of Chernobyl lept to the forefront of every mind in Northern Europe.

An ill-conceived experiment, coupled with political pressure, human error and a flawed design led to contamination spreading throughout Scandinavia, Belarous & The British Isles.

Sheep were brought down from the hill farms & deemed to be too radioactive for slaughter. That didn't stop my then employer sending me on a two week outward bound exercise in the Lake District hillsides - thanks a bunch.

I actually support nuclear power - as part of a co-ordinated energy policy that includes fossil, renewables & nuclear. But just received a link to an incredibly evocative & tragic photo-essay.

A reminder of just how badly it can go wrong when playing with elemental forces.

Photo Essay from the picture side of The Slate, a site worth a bookmark if you like thought provoking photos I suspect.

Warning: Photo Essay contains disturbing pictures. NSFW. Hit play after the 6 image intro for the full journal.

On a similar subject, a site that I've seen before contains some incredible photos from inside the Chernobyl exclusion zone. The vastness of an area that nature is reclaiming - wouldn't suggest you eat anything caught locally though.

Apparently tours are now becoming available... I'd be interested but hope the guides know how to use their geiger counters!

Just something to think about - A quarter of a million construction workers on the Chernobyl sarcophagus reached official lifetime limits of radiation.

And it's failing.

So next time the pikies come round offering to tarmac your drive - tell 'em you know where there's some work going...

Betty Swollocks

2006-07-25T18:57:00.000+01:00

Yes it's hot.

It must be nice on the beach but I wouldn't know. I'm sat in my tin shack of an office with temperatures in the high 20's. And no air movement. And no opening windows.

If I had staff they'd have lynched me or walked out by now.

Difficult to concentrate in this heat but I'm determined to get some actual work completed at least one day this week. And it's just as hot at home - although the fridge does have beer. This may be related to the lack of work accomplished in the evenings...

For those that don't know my office, there's only one door & no opening windows. When I'm in the office part (rather than the junkyard I laughingly call the workshop) I can't leave the door open as it's out of sight.

Combine that with a tin roof and it's suffocating in summer and so cold in winter that two fan heaters in the office are insufficient.

So I thought I'd invest in some luxury.

A little cooler for drinks. Quite cheap (i.e I could afford it!) and ok for cooling or warming so I guess it's got a little Peltier effect device at the heart of it all.

Note how the manufacturer's photo cunningly depicts a bottle of white wine, which as we all know should be served ice cold.

Pah!

The plate onto which the cooler obviously mounts does get cold - but not by much.

It's been on all afternoon and I reckon the inside temperature of the cooler is about 4°C below room temperature. (Yes, of course I've got a proper thermomenter in the workshop - there was even some battery life left in it too...)

So it's not really impressing me at the moment. Ice cold would be asking too much for this type of device but I'm looking for better than this!

Still, 30 day free trial is such a nice phrase don't you think?

So I'll leave it on overnight & see what it gets down to.

I've got equipment in the workshop that can get down to around -190°C but that might be overkill (and expensive on pure air). But it's at times like this I wish I had some older imagers that rely on liquid nitrogen - that could be fun...

ClustrMap

2006-07-22T13:24:00.000+01:00

I've upgraded the ClustrMap in the sidebar so you can now zoom in to Continent level and see more detail.

It's a gadget - what more can I say?

Old Photos

2006-07-22T01:34:00.000+01:00

Well, not so old perhaps. (2002 would you believe?!)

But I've just had this one exposed to a bit of photoshoppery to get rid of the cig & ashtray.

Good photos, thanks to Mark for that one.

This must've been the last proper 'function' he was at. But I know he had a whale of a time. He was quite happy to be bought whisky by his mates a fraction of his age (even more so once Mum had gone home!!)

Raise a glass - would've been 81 today.

Friblog

2006-07-22T01:20:00.000+01:00

Oh well, no work for me today. (not as if I 've got bills to pay is it? Argh!!!)

Off to the dentist this morning. Quick check up after not having gone in last year.

So that'll be two fillings that need re-doing through wear & tear - oh goody...

And the two troublesome molars that crumbled like icebergs in summer. They've been filled umpteen times over the last 10 years or so but now, apparently no longer - I need to decide whether to leave them till something happens and get them taken out or have root canal treatment on them which may or may not work.

"It'll be no worse than a filling" said the Dentist.

Not sure I believe him...

And then on taxi-duty taking Mum over to Manchester Royal for a check up with her consultant for Lupus.

But he wasn't there (She likes him, he's a Prof - with a bow tie of course!) and she got a 'run-of-the-mill' consultant instead!

Who wasn't English.

And wasn't male.

Therefore no good in Mum's mind! But she got on ok anyway.

Although it seems that all the NHS infrastructure is interested in at the moment is promoting statins. Given the side-effects Mum suffers from anything (I wish they'd never put those side-effect listings in with the medication!), that's probably not going to be a good idea...

But on the whole, she continues to be a testament to the powers of witchcraft and actually manages far better (albeit with grumbles & moans) than people 10 years younger.

Get a grip...

2006-07-20T19:47:00.000+01:00

As reported in a couple of papers today...

[Credit: Mediaguradian.co.uk]
Channel 4 is to bring mass public masturbation to the small screen.
The broadcaster - once led by Michael Grade, dubbed "pornographer in chief" by the Daily Mail - has commissioned a documentary about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon" as part of a series of programmes dubbed "Wank week".

In what must surely be one of the summer's more bizarre events, hundreds of people are expected to gather in a hall in central London on August 5 to pleasure themselves in aid of charity.

I always said the media luvvies were a bunch of tossers...

You couldn't make it up could you. Makes Big Brother look like Mastermind...

Talking of which, a claim to fame: I know someone who appeared as a Mastermind Contender...

A long, long time ago...

2006-07-19T16:23:00.000+01:00

WaterlooView, The Toronto Missionary and the CowBlog on an early attempt to drink Spain dry.

So Young! We shouldn't have been allowed out without a minder!

I remember we flew out on April 1st (how apt!) but what year?

Our 'local' for the duration.

Along with the Harp bar of course. And anywhere else we could find.

But we now know what Steak Tartare is. CowBlog of course wolfed his down. And Mine. And Andys.

Fortunately the MacDonalds served San Miguel.

Thousands of 'em..

2006-07-18T19:18:00.000+01:00

Driving along South Rd this afternoon, you couldn't help but notice the stream of bodies leaving the railway station and heading en-masse for the beach like so many Burberry clad lemmings.

The entry way to the park at the bottom of South Rd was thronged with kids. Not somewhere for the baby-eating Bishop of CowBlog to venture that's for sure.

I think there's still an ice-cream kiosk there but the local Council in their infinite wisdom, closed down the loos and are selling the small building off.

I know I want a local office to work from but I think I'll give that one a miss thanks all the same...

Anyway, back to the thronging hoards. Why do they all look the same?

Scrawny blokes, pasty white with open shirts to show off their tattoos, dog on a string and carrier bag of Special Brew accompanied by the visual reincarnation of Viz's Fat Slags... pushing their benefits (sorry, babies...) in a push chair as they head for the beach, aggro & sunburn.

Am I jealous?

Too bloody right. My boss won't give me the time off. In fact I should be working now but I'll get round to it in a minute.

But at least I won't get sunburn.

For I followed at least some of the slip, slap, slop health advice. 'Slip, Slap, Slop - Slip on a shirt, Slap on a hat, Slop on some cream!'

Because when I was at Wychwood, I bought one of these...

It keeps me dry.

It keeps me cool.

It stops my ears getting sunburnt and peeling - again.

But it makes me look like a slightly malevolent Indiana Jones - being played by a Hobbit...

El Scorchio...

2006-07-18T17:51:00.000+01:00

Yes, it's hot... damned hot in Waterloo Towers this afternoon.

Mind you, this weather does make it all the more pleasing that I've got a car this year with functioning airconditioning. Last year's 850 had the button, but re-gassing it was probably more than the car was worth.

So I set the aircon to freeze and set off for Liverpool to deliver a monitor & serviced PC. But first, needed to get some cash into the Co-op Bank for a direct debit.

I moved my business account away from Co-op because they've only got two local branches. Centre of Liverpool & centre of Preston so it's a bit of a bind to go & pay in. You can pay in by post but not a good idea if you want to see the money hit the account inside of a fortnight...

So off I went and parked in my usual city centre spot. One of the few nooks & crannies that you can get away with a quick park & deliver/bank run. I have seen people ticketed there though so on with the running shoes...

Ahh, but that bank on the corner isn't a Natwest (I wanted to get some cash out of there first). So wasted 20 minutes walking around where all the High St banks are, but no Natwest. Thanks guys...

Since found out that it's actually down in the business district and there's another one at the end of Matthew St, a hop, skip & jump from the other branch. That's useful...

Had enough cash to pay in & didn't get a ticket so all well that ends well I suppose. Although having bought petrol at over £1/litre I've now got no spare cash on me to go & sit in the pub drinking something cold.

But that's probably a good thing as I really need to catch up on some work - and more importantly the billing of it before the cupboard runs bare.

So it's back to website updates aided by a trusty bottle of Kronenbourg I think...

[Edited to add: What was the point of this rambling monologue? I knew I had a point when I started. But I must've lost it in the heat. And I'm now on Kronenbourg number 3 and still no work done. Bugger.]

A quick joke for you...

2006-07-17T13:18:00.000+01:00

Scientists have researched long & hard to find & bring you The World's Best Blonde Joke.

We used to be good at stuff...

2006-07-17T00:59:00.000+01:00

There was a time when British Engineering meant something.

Before the cult of mediocrity that is so popular at the moment. (And in the past too to be honest. TSR2 for example would have beaten some modern aircraft but strangled at birth by politicians with no vision).

A time when we built things. And provided the men that made things happen. Before we turned into a nation of estate agents & call centre operatives.

In those days we built things like the English Electric Canberra.

An old design to be sure, an aircraft that can trace its lineage to the Mosquito even!

But even after its days as a bomber were long since over in favour of the V force bombers, the photo-recconaissance version continued in service.

Until today.

Today was the final operational flight of this aircraft. Now they're being scrapped.

Is it because they're obsolete? Hardly. The venerable U2 is still in service for the USA and the Canberra's service ceiling is still classified. But it is known that it could comfortably look down on the U2... Not bad for a 1940's airframe!

But grounded because the spares contract is up for renewal and Whitehall won't renew it.

What do we have to replace it? Nothing.

Well after all, in these times of global insecurity, the ability for the United Kingdom to possess its own surveillance capability would be too much for the MoD to contemplate wouldn't it...

The British aircraft manufacturing & design capability was once the wonder of the World. Lightnings, Victors, Vulcans, Harriers, Buccanneers, Canberras and many more.

These days we can't produce an aircraft without other Countries getting involved.

But the French can.

Oh the shame...

[This drunken rant brought to you courtesy of a Shapla Takari at the Gate of India and numerous pints of Southport Brewery Carousel. Inspired by a post elsewhere.]

Them Fokkers were Messerschmitts...

2006-07-15T12:40:00.000+01:00

Just seen these on another forum. Perhaps not politically correct in these days but after all they did bomb our chippie.

And I applaud the brewery & ad team for running with them & giving us a chuckle.

And then a few more were found...
...a few more that never actually made it into print due to them being too non PC! The story behind it being that my brother is in the army stationed in germany but comes from kent, he saw some of these in the local chatted up the landlady who spoke to Sheppard Neames PR people directly on his behalf, a few weeks later a massive bundle of them turned up at the Regimental Officers Mess in Germany and were used to decorate the bar, including several not seen in the UK!

Inspired advertising! All down to those spiffing fine chaps at Spitfire Ale. It's a nice pint too!

For the record, all the Germans (bar one) I've worked with, drunk with or otherwise met have been decent people. I did however once offer to launch an obnoxious French colleague through a window... but that's another story.

I'm in the money....

2006-07-15T01:11:00.000+01:00

According to the BBC...

(Don't worry, no need for panic. That's not me. It's merely a stunt belly...)

The average British male spends £1,144 per year cultivating his beer gut, research shows.

£1,144??? Is that all? Rank bloody amateurs...

I'm off to the bank in the morning looking to cash mine in and I'm reckoning on at least £2500...

Oh yes...

And they then go on to suggest "In addition to adopting a healthy diet and becoming more active many men would do well to cut down on alcohol."

Cut down? Who are they trying to kid. Have you ever seen student Doctors out on the lash? They traditionally know how to party and believe me, they take little notice of the recommended weekly limits!

So then, according to the nanny state...

I'm not allowed to drive quickly - otherwise scores of fluffy bunnies will die.
I can't smoke in a public place - actually that one's fine with me as I don't smoke (Oh so smug...)
I can't drive anything other than a hybrid otherwise those bunnies will be choking their last, painfull, racking gasps...
I can't eat Eccles Cakes unless they come from a specific 5sqmile area.
I can't criticize New labour or John Prescott will arrive on my doorstep to eat all my pies, knock my house down & turn it into a refuge for displaced Elbonians.
...and everytime I want to complain about it, I get redirected to a call centre on the sub-continent.

It's enough to drive you to drink...

Raw, undercooked or cooked Sir?

2006-07-15T01:02:00.000+01:00

What an excellent evening.

Mr CowBlog took command of the BBQ, supervised by Mrs CowBlog to reduce the chance of injury and foolishly invited your scribe, Arch & Beryl to sample the burnt offerings.

Which in spite of Mrs CowBlog's protestations of undercookedness was a darn good barbie...

Good company, good food & blue skies - it doesn't get much better.

Since the Cowblogs provide the food, the intention was to arrive with more alcohol than would actually be drunk, leaving a grateful surplus. But looking at the range of empty tins lined up - this may not have been entirely successful!!

A good start to the weekend.

Gimme, gimme, gimme...

2006-07-10T17:35:00.000+01:00

Ok, that's it...

The T5 has got to go.

I'm now after a Merc.

Not just any Merc, this Merc...

Looks nice enough - if a little bland.

But I'm only interested in the optional extras...

Yes, that does say gun turret... just what you need for tailgaters.

Naturally it has onboard oxygen supplies, halon extinguishers and all the other toys that a 3rd World despot (or indeed, a Merseyside Meglomaniac) could wish for.

I wonder if it has an ejector seat too?

Which Wood? - That Wood.

2006-07-06T23:23:00.000+01:00

The mammoth festival post is finished with extra photos.

It's still too hot in the office so I'm going home...

Drip, drip

2006-07-06T21:02:00.000+01:00

It's hotter than Hades in this office at the moment.

No opening windows and I can't open the workshop door as it's out of my sight but it's cooler outside than in here.

(stifling hot in summer, icicle cold in winter - just what I wanted).

But the webcam's disconnected so it's shorts & beerbelly dress order for today although I did put proper clobber on before going out on a call this morning.

"My PC won't switch on..."

It did once I pushed the extension lead plug fully into the socket. Ho Hum. It's the level of technical challenge I find most exciting...

But the recalcitrant PC on the bench has started working (subject to a final test) and the late payers have promised to sort it. We'll see.

Which Wood?

2006-07-04T16:38:00.000+01:00

Been promising a write-up for a while so...

Working on the premise that music is good, then music + beer + no need to drive for a day or two must be very good, I thought I'd head off & get some festival time this year.

Folk music has the image amongst some people (like CowBlog, but he's only jealous because he never made it to Glastonbury) of being Morris Dancers, fingers in the ears and jumpers knitted out of beard clippings (and that's only the women!).

And certainly, yes, that subset does exist but can usually be avoided by listening out for the warning signs of "Hey Nonny Nonny" creeping into people's conversations.

So what is the UK Folk scene like these days? Well, the most well known festival is probably The Cambridge Folk Festival. In recent years, they've had artists such as The Saw Doctors, Cerys Matthews, The Proclaimers, Levellers, Divine Comedy, Julian Cope, Chumbawamba, Billy Bragg, Suzanne Vega & James Taylor.

Ok, you won't see them in Ibiza but they're certainly not traditional 'folk' either are they? And if you think all folk singers are middle-aged blokes supping real ale, Kate Rusby (right) is one of English Folk's stars... incredible voice as well as being ever so easy on the eye. And that's only one example. There's something strangely sexy about a girl & a fiddle - or perhaps I just need therapy...

I've been to CFF a couple of times and it's good. Well organised but is a bit of a victim of its own success - it gets expensive by the time you've paid for a weekend ticket & a camping ticket. As in you could get to Spain for less. For a fortnight.

But the biggest problem is the crowds. You can get to the front at the main stage but then you're stuck there. With no beer. Better to flit from the 2nd stage to the Club tent where you often find some real hidden gems.

Anyway... I thought I could afford a CFF trip this year so gave them a call as soon as the tickets came out (no online ordering). Couldn't get past the engaged tone, they sold out in a single day. Victims of their own success indeed but I hope they don't try & move it to a bigger venue, it just won't work.

So after a bit of browsing around the web , I found there's plenty of other festivals with my sort of music and settled on a trip to Wychwood. Only in its 2nd year, it had rave reviews. And no extra camping charges. Sold to the man on the web. (Yes, they even did online booking through a couple of agencies).

So it came to the start of June and off I headed to Cheltenham Racecourse. Inspired. This is how festivals ought to be. Much, much better than CFF.

Ok, it'll upset the purists who think that wallowing in mud is essential for the authentic festival experience. Yeah right, if I wanted trenchfoot I'd go and stand in someones garden pond. I want music, I want to be entertained, I want beer, I want to enjoy myself. I don't want dysentry or some dickhead setting fire to my tent.

The racecourse is a great venue, plenty of tarmac around so it doesn't get waterlogged if it rains, good access & carparking (where CFF falls down), they even allowed you to drive onto the campsite to pitch & take down - far better than the CFF courtesy bus which is difficult if you've got any amount of gear & are on your own.

And of course, they've even got some proper toilets as well as the portables. Every credit to the organisers, they did well on the servicing of loos which were plentiful & clean. They even had a couple of mobile shower blocks which did a roaring trade. Couple of quid for a hot shower.

The first impression I had of the festival was sheer friendliness. All the stewards were superb & never stopped smiling (must be something in the tea) and picking up the ticket from an internet reference number worked fine.

So, onto the campsite (which was the middle of the racecourse). Drop my gear & get the tent up. No problem. It was an ebay special a few years back but takes all of 5 minutes to put up. And it's proven to be waterproof. But whoever sold it as being a 2-man tent was talking pygmies.

Must be my advancing years but I splashed out on an airbed rather than feel every pebble and what's more - a battery operated pump. Sheer luxury but ever so good!

I do have a severe case of tent envy though. There were people there who really took advantage of the vehicle access and had interlinked tents with gazebos, bbq & in one case a wooden front door! (The 'yurt' style tent in the middle of the photo. They turned up in a transit and was at least two families - it even had a chimney!)

Obviously quite a few were groups of mates who'd left the wives at home and headed off for a weekend of drink, music and fast food. Can't be faulted really.

Really good atmosphere to the festival. Lots of kids but incredibly well behaved. A very family friendly festival.

It's bound to get busier as word spreads and that will be a shame (being selfish there). One of the great things was that you could walk upto the front of the main stage or hang back & sit on the grass and do whichever you wanted without having to really fight crowds. Easy enough to nip off to the bar & back again.

Ah yes, the bars. That could have been better.

There were bottled beers available from one of the stalls near the main stage. There was the Pimms double decker (the perfect drink in weather like that! But damaging to the wallet at £3 a time) but the main bars were in the big top tent and the small music tent, both packed with people listening to the acts. That could be improved for next year. Put bars in with the music for sure but a large opensided marquee bar in the main stage area would be ideal.

Although not linked to the festival, the main beer was Wychwood's Hobgoblin. That'll do nicely although at £2.90 a pint I knew I was in the posh South...

The weather was perfect. Lots of sunburn all round. It did come onto rain on the Sunday but the site stood upto it well and no-one minded too much.

It is billed as an 'ethical' festival and Friends of the Earth & Greenpeace were both represented. Working in professional areas of energy efficiency & conservation, we share many objectives yet I remain unconvinced of the attitudes & agendas of many within these organisations. The work of many concerned individuals is undermined by the extreme element that won't be happy untill all cars are banned, we drive horse & carts and eat nothing but lentils.

Sorry guys, I've been instrumental in helping industry & private individuals save far more in CO2 emissions than you can probably imagine but I'm still not going to give up my blurter or my flying. Technology & industrial development is like toothpaste, once invented it won't go back in the tube!

What we can do is make sure that efficiency is increased by use of appropriate technology. Use of renewables is great where appropriate but have you actually looked at the total life cost of a wind turbine? Clean generation of power is great. I love the concept but where did the aluminium used in construction come from? What about the environmental costs inherent in construction, transportation & errection? Not saying they're no good but lets have a realistic appaisal of their benefits shall we? Took a photo just for Mark though.

Oh yes, and your beloved electric cars? Where does the electricity come from? All you're doing is moving the point of pollution, just because you don't see the pollution doesn't mean it doesn't occur.

Ok, rant over. But it is still festival related actually. Because whilst FoTE were quite good with their cutout sillhouettes and low key approach, the Greenpeace chuggers were a bloody menace. I heard a lot of people complaining about this. A lot. A helluva lot actually. You couldn't walk through one area without being accosted.

Needless to say, the Greenpeace crusties arrived to set up the kids skateboard ramp (nice idea, keep them out of the way & letting off steam, having fun) and were driving clapped out 'traveller' style vehicles. Very environmentally friendly - not. (If you don't understand why, just look at the particulate emissions from badly serviced, old diesel engines. Try googling for PM10's - they're really not very good for you.)

Saw a lot of families getting quite upset by their tactics. That needs to be knocked on the head for next year. Have a stand by all means but don't let them accost people in the walkways. They did their cause more damage than good.

But the music, oh yes. Missed Billy Braggs slot (although he was very good apparently) in favour of Abbie Budgen in 'The Other Stage'. A good roots performance.

'The Other Stage' was excellent. Able to get very close up to the performance and with a bar too. Got a bit crowded at times, extra bar space would have solved this. Even managed to get a seat some of the time - and I can carry more than one pint back from the bar of course :)

Particularly remembered were excellent sets from 3 daft monkeys, Karen David, Lowri Evans & others but I forgot to make notes as to who was who - just too busy enjoying the music. 'The other Place' stage had the best mix of music for me but an excellent performance from 'This is Seb Clarke' took the main stage by storm. Fantastic. Lots of people agreed they were the surprise of the festival and their latest single went to no12 in the Indie Chart.

Only caught the tail end of Seth Lakeman but sounded good. Disappointed with Eliza Carthy & Martha Wainwright though. I know they can both do better but sometimes that's just the way it goes. But I've since been lent a CD of Martha by CowBlog so in spite of his protestations, he does actually like some decent music!

But half the fun of a festival like this is hearing people that you normally wouldn't. Made some great finds but didn't get a chance to get to the CD tent and now forgotten which was which!

The grassed area in front of the main stage. Looking towards the 'Big Top' stage & bar.

That same grassed area (innovative photography or what?) but you can just about make out the Pimms double decker How very 'Cheltenham'!!). Pimms O'Clock? In that heat it certainly was! But at £3 a pop it was to be savoured & not gulped!

Plenty of trestle tables set up outside the 'Other Stage' & bar, turned busy when the bar opened & could've been larger but a handy spot to stop & watch the world go by.

Veggie food was a big feature of the festival but thankfully at the 'Real Sausage' company stand, the only vegetarians were in the freezer.

The Groovy Smoothies stand were doing a roaring trade all weekend, not cheap but I don't think anybody cared in that heat. Delicious too. The French food van was also pretty good & most of the places serving coffee had a bottle of brandy handy to spice it up a little.

The same spot near enough, that's one of the stall holders rather than an escaped Mary Poppins.

Getting so close to the stage made me wish I'd taken the SLR but no mind, being able to get so close to the performance was what set it apart from other festivals.

How close to the barrier do you want to be?

Fairy Pirates (or is that Pirate Fairies?)

I wasn't hallucinating - I have it on film.

Oh yes, if you're wondering, that's their barrel of laughs that they use to conduct laughter checks - clear now?

Ah yes, the 'Other Stage'. Some great acts on here (can't remember who this one is though). The main problem being that the place clogged up due to the bar.

Bigger & more bars next year please!

Also on the 'Other Stage', a group called Tandara Mandara with music from Russia, Romania, Macedonia, Poland, Serbia & Greece.

Very good too, if a little strange when they revert to their Oxfordshire accents.

Another highlight of the show was the comedy slot from Mark Thomas. A 'right on' left wing comic in the style of an early Ben Elton with a hysterically funny take on the international arms trade.

Politically I think it's safe to say we're in opposite camps but hell, the guy was funny with some good points well made.

Overall a great festival. Very friendly. Family friendly too but thankfully all the kids were extremely well behaved. Many people will remember one poor girl sat at the front (behaving) in the Other Stage when StellaFuelledDad started heckling. heheh, never heckle the guy with a mic... but all good fun and taken as intended.

Overall, a great festival. Small, friendly & intimate with great acts. I need a bigger tent though - or possibly a motorhome!

Back next year? I suspect so.

The weekend

2006-07-03T01:34:00.000+01:00

My weekend as usual starts early Friday afternoon with picking Mum up from her hairdressers & getting her home. She's doing well although usually complains about the type of people she has to mix with on the train in!

Usually go via one supermarket or the other to pick up any heavy stuff she needs (bottled water usually, because tap water just isn't good enough! Lathom tap water tastes a lot better than the stuff that comes out of my taps though I have to say) but no supermarkets this trip. Instead a trip via Tarleton for her to visit a couple of shops she wanted. No problem, but I'm glad this car has aircon.

Then back to Lathom and a request to take some photos of the garden to email off to her kid sister in Oz. Not very happy with them, bright sunlight & shadows don't make for easy exposure settings but a few turned out ok.

Saturday saw an early start with a visit to trailer-trash Al over at the Riverside complex. It still looks the same as when I used to pick up from there in my taxi-ing days. Grab-a-granny anyone?

Very nice little set-up he's got himself there. Large static caravan, absolutely immaculate inside and capable of producing two very large fry-ups indeed. Very nice site, nice atmosphere.

He's got broadband now. Only half a meg since he's in the middle of nowhere & left but certainly better than the 56k dial-up. Got that set-up along with a screen he got from Andy. Yes, a 17" TFT is certainly easier on the eyes than an old CRT.

The router power supply got popped though so we had a run up to Maplins in Preston to find an alternative (out of stock so we ended up in Birkdale but that's not important right now) and found ourselves the subject of an assassination attempt as we encountered a Nissan being driven the wrong way round Banks roundabout... The driver seemed quite unconcerned.

So what does the following week hold?

Well, I still need to get a PC fixed. I think either exorcism or a baseball bat will be good options for that one. I ought to start on the accounts admin to get a vat return done. I need to do a complete overhaul on a client's website (that's urgent, I should have had something done on that by this Friday just gone.) and I need to build my new office PC so I can reformat my current one & turn that into a workstation for geo-rectifying aerial imagery. Sounds fancy but it has the capacity to lead to boredom beyond comprehension. Just as well I'm not doing it then.

And I need to find my insurance docs & MOT to get the car taxed tomorrow as well. One hundred & seventy five quid - and the roads are still a disgrace! And if you want a smooth road to drive on, like the M6 Toll, you have to pay yet again for the privilege - at the very least they could lift the speed limit in return.

But the nanny state won't let you do that. Feck's sake, even window cleaners can't use ladders anymore and the Police are banned from chasing thieves on stolen bikes because they (the thieves) weren't wearing helmets and could get hurt if they fell off.

So what??? How about not stealing stuff then? How about that for an idea. What was it the Government said? "Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime"? Yes of course you are.

But NewLab wouldn't want to alienate the very people that vote for them do they? So it's lipservice all round and more paperwork for the Police - most of whom would be more than happy to acquaint the lowlife with the inside of a cell rather than filling in yet more Home Office forms monitoring crime statistis.

But that might infringe the thieves human rights, so we can't have that can we?

Top Turmeric Tip

2006-07-03T01:17:00.000+01:00

A quick tip for my curry loving readers...

A week ago (whilst mysteriously sober even) I was viciously attacked by a fork full of Chicken Surma which made a bid for freedom. Via my shirt. My clean shirt. Oops. (Most frustratingly, it was clean, I'd been wearing it for less than an hour. perhaps I should take a bib next time.)

Now you all know what curry stains are like? And this was a good one. In fact it was looking likely that the only safe way of dealing with the shirt would be to take off & nuke the site from orbit.

Whatever, a dead shirt, an ex-shirt, a pining for the cotton mills type shirt.

But just before I threw it away, I heard a tip about how to deal with turmeric stains. I didn't believe it but thought I'd try it.

It was true, it worked. It appears that turmeric is the vampire of the spice world and is allergic to... sunlight.

Simple as that. Expose the shirt to strong sunlight before washing it and over the course of a day or so the stain will fade. Miraculously so. The shirt now looks like a normal crumpled shirt waiting to be washed. No sign of the curry disaster at all. Unbelievable.

It's magic I tell ya!

But it's a top tip for those of us that love our curry...

Sadly I have no top tips for repairing hamstrings... Ouch. Ouch & thrice Ouch.

The week that was.

2006-07-01T00:27:00.000+01:00

It's Friday night already, what have I done this week? I'm just not quite sure where it went!

A trip upto Parbold to kick a machine that randomly closes down applications. Did some registry cleaning on it, all seemed fine but heard today that it's doing it again (randomly, once or twice a day) so back up there next week for a wipe & reinstall I guess. Strange one, system looked in tip top shape but there's a gremlin in there somewhere.

Another call to a previous customer with problems backing up onto DVD. Well that was the description, as soon as I walked in the fugging thing bluescreened & wouldn't boot. "Oh it's never done that before..." Gaahhh....

So that one's on the bench at the moment. An overlay reinstall got it running but it keeps locking up. Why can't they be nice simple, easy in, easy out faults for once? Perhaps I should just adopt the same attitude as the big sheds' support staff & reformat it regardless. "But I only wanted some more RAM...).

I however take a pride in retaining or recovering client data - they don't always appreciate the effort that goes into it mind.

Another customer was complaining that I wasn't on site to look at their system immediately. Yes, funny that. I tend to prioritise, and as their account is at least 60 days overdue I prefer to spend my time with the prompt paying customers. I want to give that machine a wipe & reinstall though, it's got a bad attitude. But it's mission critical for them so they'd want it back at 0800 - don't they know IT guys don't work at those sort of hours? But no, they're nice folks, they get a discount & I do look after them really...

I'm not worried about them, they always drag out payment but it's a nuisance having to make the trip to go in and specifically hold the director by the neck until the chequebook comes out.

There's another one though that might be getting a bowel-loosening letter from my favourite debt collector (yes, I look after their systems too :) ). They used to pay on time but haven't paid a small bill since I refused to supply a family member of theirs with gratis software (About £150 worth!) to go with a PC I supplied. It wasn't in the spec & I only made less than £100 on the deal anyway & threw in a lot of free setup & tuition as it was. So the answer was NO. And then they threw in the old "don't expect any more work from (a relative) if you don't."

That's a tactic I refuse to be bowed by, yes I'll happily cut a good deal for a big order but I won't be browbeaten after the event by some dappy bint - at a loss too! - so no joy. It's not as if I get a lot of work from the relative anyway. Ok, don't want to lose any but sometimes you've got to stand your ground with people like that. They might even come back once they've been burnt by some of the muppets out there advertising support. As with anything, buy cheap, buy twice.

They actually got a good deal with good service but because "you can buy a PC for £400 less at PCGlobe", I got slated. If you actually went for equivalent system specifications (she forgot that crucial detail!) and costed the delivery, setup, repeat delivery & setup of a printer & a bit of tuition then I was considerably cheaper than PCGlobe. Pah... reminds me why I made the decision to move away from retail sales. Yes, there are cowboys in the PC & Support industry & they should be winkled out but there are cowboy customers too.

Ahhh, always feel better for a good rant. I like to give good service & often 'go that extra mile' but when people try & take advantage of that then I bite. And it wasn't as if the spec wasn't all agreed beforehand, it was.

So it appears that about the only job that went smoothly this week was the rebuild of a machine for a mate of mine. Heatsink had come adrift off the motherboard, shorted everything out goodstyle.

So that'll be a new PSU, motherboard, CPU, RAM and a hard drive then. Unfortunatey, there was a lot of stuff on the drive he didn't want to lose (family photos etc - remember folks, Jesus Saves but the rest of us need backups!) so going to try & ressurect that by swapping the electronics out with an identical drive model off ebay. So long as it didn't get as far as burning out the head servo motors then we may be in with a chance.

...and delivered that revamped system this evening. All good. Except the poor chap tipped his cup of coffee into a filing cabinet by mistake. Even worse, my coffee went too.

But at least I got another coffee...